FLIRTING.

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 7, Issue 361, 17 September 1863, Page 4

FLIRTING.

“Now do write a regular newspaper article about Flirting, mamma ! It will be so much more amusing than the dull political stuff that papa wi’ites about.” Thus spoke a lovely maiden of sixteen ; so captivating she, that with her no one could flirt — to see her was to love her (and we do not flirt with those we love.) Yet mamma thought fit to advise her, lest she should flirt and break the hearts of luckless swains innumerable. In the midst of her sage advice, Miss Flora broke in with the above exclamation. Mamma for awhile pooh-poohed the idea, but being made to sit down at her desk, and having had the pen forced into her hand, she ruminated for awhile, then thus began :—' \Ve live in a world of frauds, and nothing is too great or too small, too ridiculous or too sublime, to be exempt from the influences of human deceit. On the one hand we have gigantic banking frauds, our railway and other bubbles ever bursting, our Titans in deception constantly ruining victims to the tune of thousands of pounds ; to say nothing of an occasional miracle or two, got up somewhere or other on the continent with a view of duly impressing the “ faithful.” Then to turn to smaller matters—we meet the lollipop vendor with his light weights, of his bit of lead under the lollipop bowl of his scales, at the corner of one street ; at the corner of the next the seller of “fancy dogs” with a rat in a coating of white down, which he is palming off on those fair be hatted and becrinolined nymphs, as a puppy of some rare and unknown breed ; in yonder confectioner’s window those sugarplums, beauteous to the eye, and makiug the longing mouth of youthful innocence to water, impart to that mouth, when they are tasted, an unquestionable flavour of chalk ; at the railway refreshment counter we seize greedily upon a tempting vealpie, and wot not that that veal is but the flesh of a cat ! One more instauce let us add to tlie’catalogue of frauds, though we may. perchance, by this addition call down upon our devoted heads a storm of opprobrium from those whom we hereby dare to designate fraudulent. We allude to that species of the “ genus homo” (of either sex) commonly called “ the Flirt.” Now flirting—deny it youths and maidens as you will-—is in every whit a fraud ; a kind of spurious love-making on the part of the gentlemau, or a feigned preference on the part of the lady ; the object of either being to in-spii-e the “victim” with love and admiration by giving a make believe “ quid” for the required “ quo.” W hen a young lady and gentleman happen to be thrown together in the world’s crowd, they either converse simply for the pleasure ‘of each other’s society as mere friends, but otherwise indifferent to each other, or they entertain softer feelings, engendered by mutual attraction caused by an impression on the minds of both that they are well suited to each other for a life’s companionship. Or, it may be that this feeling exists on the part of one only and that one, accoi’dingly, strives by every endearing art to arouse a similar and reciprocal feeling in the breast of the other. But this onesided affection is only allowable in the sterner sex ; the first advance must in-

variably be made by the man ; for nature (whether fairly or unfairly let maidens not question) has so ordained it that an open predilection shown by a fair one to one of the other sex, without previous marks of evident and unmistakable preference from him, must be held as a breach of feminine decorum, and of that -modest dignity which is weak woman's cbiefest safeguard. Of the sudden tumbling into love, and perhaps as sudden tumbling out again, so ’ common with susceptible hearts, earnest enough while the fit lasts, we. will here say nothing, or rather proceed with our immediate subject—“ love making frauds.” There are some young ladies, and gentlemen too, who, not content with the simple gratification afforded by ordinarysocial intercourse, however much pleasure - and amusement may be derived therefrom, and yet free from the slightest intention of proceeding to the more serious step of falling in love, seem to consider that there is something far more “ piquant” than either of these courses in the medium commonly denominated “ flirting.” Ordinary conversation is dull, they thiuk, and love-making they consider as ter and leads to the goal of matrimony, a point which they have not the slightest inclination to reach—at any rate not in the case in question. So they go on in this sham love-making ; the gentleman flirt paying every attention to the lady whom lie wishes to victimise, in order to make her really in love with him, or to make her exhibit a marked preference Tor his society. The lady flirt, by the many little allurements which her sex is capable of, and which are most charming when legitimately used (alas ! too charming when used in mockery,) strives to produce a similar effect upon that swain whom she has singled out for her wiles, in order to make him her devoted slave, either in reality, or at least in appearance. In both sexes flirting arises from an intemperate desire to gratify personal vanity by (inspiring admiration, and ad- ■ ulation, if not downright love ; and this the flirt tries to effect by false pretences and undue means. In both sexes these arts are held in equally low estimation, not only by dull prudes, incapable of a flirtation, and therefore likely to be spitefully envious of an amusement in which they cannot participate, but also by the witty and agreeable. Tlie male flii't, in his worst phase, is looked upon as a heartless deceiver, and at best an effeminate coxcomb ; while the lady flirt is apt to be considered deficient in that modest dignity which best becomes a woman.

And as it is bad enough for her to flirt at all, so for a woman to flirt before she is flirted with, is doubly inexcusable. Not only does she act the deceiver’s part, but she descends from her proper sphere—that of “the worshipped”:—and demeans herself by acting the part of the sincere worshipper ; and though she may imagine she thereby gains in return that admiration and attention, for which she makes so great a sacrifice, she forgets that her cavalier may be acting a similar part to that wliieh she is playing, and in reality amusing himself at her expense, while in his soul he probably despises her. “ Mamma, you are very sevei-e,” exclaimed Miss Flora, when she heard the above effusion. “Pray, did you never flirt yourself V’ “ Well—ah—perhaps I may have done so a little, my dear, but I have tasted the eviisofit.” “ Then please, mamma, I thiuk I should like to taste some of them too.” “ Flora, you are incorrigible,” said her mother perplexed, and subsiding.

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