Page 1 Advertisements Column 6

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 7, Issue 344, 21 May 1863, Page 1

a call to be a husband, who when, the rosy maiden he married is transformed by • two early an introduction to the cares and trials of maternity into a feeble con- | firmed invalid, turns impatiently fromthe restless sick wife’s room, to sun himself in !}he perfidious smile of one whom he would blush to name in that wife’s pure ear ? Has he any call to be a husband, who adds to his wife’s manifold care' that of selecting and providing for the household, and inquires of her • how she spent the surplus shilling of yesterday’s (appropriation? Has he call to be a husband, who carries a letter intended for his wife in his pocket for six weeks, and expects anything short of “ Gunpowder. Tea ” for his supper that night ? Has he a call to be a husband who leaves his wife to blow out the candle, and snub her' precious little toes, while she is navigating for the bed post ? Has he any call to be a lmsband, who sits downs on his wife’s best bonnet, or puts her shawl over her shoulders upside down, or wrong side out at the Opera ? Has he any call to be husband.who goes “ unbeknown to his wife,” to some wretch/*of a barber, and parts with a beard which she has coaxed from its first infantile sprout to luxuriant full-grown, magnificent unsurpassable hirsuteness, and then comes home to her horrid vision a pocket edition of jjMoses ? Has he any call to be a husbaud who kisses his wife only once once a week, and who never notices, day by day, the neat dress, and shining hands of hair arranged to please Ins stupid milk and-water-ship ? —Fanny Fern. Candid and Doubtless True.— -The' ex-Mayorfof Bristol.(John Hare, Esq.), in acknowledging a vote of thanks awarded him by the Corporation lately, said, “ I have felt most grateful to the reporters for not . reporting me .too correctly.; Many a doubtful periodthey have polished off, so that I hardly recognised my crudities in their new setting ; whilst many an ambigious phrase or sentence has been converted by tbe magic touch of their pens into sentences of which Solomon himself would not feel ashamed.” A. Stage Scene. —A writer who has traveled evtensively says that he witnessed rather a strange scene , iff Shakespeare’s TiArmf.ifnl t,-i7r<TPf|y of “Romeo and Juliet; ” it was at one of The W esferh Theatres. The piece had passed off well without interruption until the last scene. The character of Romeo was excellently enacted and loudly applauded. The very model of the lover was before the tomb of tbe Capulets. gazing upon the motionless form of her who had so attracted his sold, and meditating upon an act which .would send his spirit to that undiscovered country where he supposed Juliet’s had (gone. Jus as he explained, “Here’s to jlove !” and at the same tune raised the I vial which contained, the poison to his lips, a stalwart young ,l countryma'n jumped upon the stage, seized him, dashed the ivial from his hand, crushing it to atoms and yelling, “Yer darned fool, she ain’t 'dead ! Only been taking a little sleeping medicine. Dkl’nt yer get the parson s letter?” “Sirrah!” growled out the enraged tragedian, while the house fairly shook with laughter. “ Why, yer gall ain’t dead, X tell yer. The way it was they wanted to make. Julie to marry that chap thar, pointing at Paris,.“ whose business they have just settled but X tell you Julie war pluck—she got her back right up and vowed she would not do it even if while she war lying in the vault the ghost of the other feller whom you kilt should dash her brains out with the bones of some of her dead cousins. Wffl, her pluck war up, and she took the stuff the parson fixed ; so she could play possum till you got hum. That’s the way it war,” replied the countryman,-.giving the desperate lover a tremendous poke in the ribs with his elbow, and at the same time loosing his hold. “Hell’s curses on the fellow ! ” muttered the raving - tragedian as he stalked behind the scenes. “ Wal, now said the countryman, fronting the audience, “if that ain’t a leetle the dod darned meanest cuss I ever did see X hope to be swowed. That all the thanks 1 git for stopping him from pizenin himself. Hope to be tarnaly smashed if ever I go to interfere again when a feller wants to murder himself,” he continued as he clambered back to bis seat, just in time to prevent bis upper story from coming in contact with the curtain as it ■ descended. — American Scrap Boole. Pat Again. —ln an Irish Provincial ’ournal there is an advertisement running ' thus—“ Wanted a handy labourer, who !i an plough a married man and a ProtesItestant, with a son 01 daughter. Pox and Hare. —Charles Fox and his friend, Mr. Hare, being much incommoded by duns, were together in a house, | whan seeing some shabby men about tbe '■door, they were afraid they were balifrb in search of one of them. Hot -knowing which was in danger, Fox opened the window, and, calling to them said, “ Pray genlemen, are you /ore-hunting or haichunting ? ’ ’ j ‘ Six feet in his boots !’ exclaimed Mrs. ' Partington. ‘ What will the importance 'of this world come to, I wonder ? Why, 'they might just as reasonably tell me that the man had six heads in his hat.’