PARENTS CHALLENGED

Wairarapa Times-Age, 17 November 1943, Page 2

PARENTS CHALLENGED

ADDRESS BY MISS E. MACKAY AT FATHERS’ NIGHT GATHERING. OF THE MASTERTON LEAGUE OF MOTHERS. The annual “Fathers’ Night” of the Masterton League of Mothers was held in the Knox Hall last evening. Mrs L. B. Maunsell presided and welcomed about 150 members and husbands. The League Choir under Mrs Miller Hope, rendered four much appreciated items and Miss D. Jamieson sang two delightful solos. Mrs Maunsell introduced Miss E. Mackay, of the Wellington Girls’ College, who was the speaker for the evening.

’ With a vivid word picture Miss Mac- ’ kay captivated her hearers from, the very beginning, taking them in imagination to the tea plantations 7000 feet up the Nilgiri hill slopes of Southern India. The first thing to arrest attention here, she said, is the great groups of shade trees, the gravilias. These are beautiful trees with straight clean trunks and are severely pruned to afford the maximum amount of shade. Only some five branches are left unpruned and these, umbrella-shaped and light of leaf, permit the rays of the sun to filter through to the tea bushes so as not to scorch the tender buds. The roots of the gravilia go far down into the earth so that they may not disturb the growth of the tea —they are protectors and providers. The tea bushes are set out in rows, and with the shade trees, form a perfect pattern. Great care is taken to keep the land clear of weeds which might take food needed by the tea. At the foot of each bush is a clump of maidenhair fern : which adds coolness and freshness in ■ the heat of the day. PARABLE OF THE HOME. All this, said Miss Mackay, was a constant parable of what a home should be —each member an individual, each with a different work and different sphere, yet all working towards one great end. Fathers, said Miss Mackay, were not so willing to hand themselves over to the Great Gardener that He may, in the words of St. John, “prune, that it may bring forth more fruit.” Nor were the children as pliable as the maidenhair would suggest. Miss Mackay said she had been asking “the man in the street” for his opinion of the present position, for she knew all parents were deeply troubled. Something was wrong and seriously wrong. For some time she had thought that the girls only were affected, that some of them had lost their balance, but she found that our lads too, were passing through a very sefious phase?—might one call it lawlessness? “What is the cause?” she asked. “Surely if we find the cause we maybe able to set about removing it.” One question Miss Mackay had repeatedlyasked the man in the street was: “What in your opinion is the cause?” And she wondered if her hearers v;ould give the same answers —“A lack of discipline in the home.” “A loss of that great quality ‘respect for others.’ ” “An expression of strongly-worded opinions upon subjects of which they know nothing.” “A desire to copy the ■ grown-up without the balance which comes with years.” “A loss of the desire for and expression of dignity and modesty.” Discipline meant “a mental or moral training: It had been laid 'down as an axiom that the child knew neither good nor bad till 4 or 5 years of age. That he needs no discipline, that there must be no “repression or suppression,” lest his individuality be harmed. Travelling on city tramcars at peak hours one might wonder where this individuality showed itself —dress, hair, speech, subjects of conversation, behaviour, consideration for others. “A SORRY MESS.” “It seems to me,” continued Miss Mackay, “that because we have grown so much more learned and wise than the Almighty, our Creator, and have taken our own sweet‘way—no pruning being permitted—we have made a sorry mess of things.” She thought, she said, that all parents enjoyed the Fifth Commandment, even if they did not teach it to their children. “Honour” meant to treat with respect, deference, civility —were children being trained to do this? “Not only from our parable,” said Miss Mackay, “but from your own garden, you see any lesson you desire to paint. What of your young trees? Are they more worth training than are the children? And do they reach perfection without training and pruning? Now, fathers, what of the pruning of your own lives, as the gravilia? Are you pruned and trained that you may help others? Listen to St. Paul: ‘Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.’ What does this mean? Do you remember the root of the word ‘provoke?’ —Pro, forth, voco, I call; and so, to call forth what is undesirable in the child. Nurture • and admonition —nourishment, food not for body only but for spirit and for , 'soul. Admonition —moneo, I advise. . What a picture! Fathers who are pre- . pared to submit to such pruning by the . heavenly Gardener that they will not ' be negative fathers, but fathers who ( call forth obedience as well as love. ( Fathers advising their sons. Yes, mo- < thers directing their daughters and , giving them such spiritual food as they ] require. What spiritual food, what ( nourishment? Can we improve on the • Divine Plan?” J

THE NEED OF EXAMPLE. “Seeing the father's love for the • wife, the wife’s I’everence for the hus- ' band, and the obedience of the other members of the family for the father 1 and mother, the child would learn to . respect, and respect was the founda- • tion of love. ' Can we do anything to ■ adjust matters that so definitely need : setting right?” Miss Mackay asked. 1 "First let us put the blame where dt < lies —on the generation of men and wo- i men who themselves lost the vision in a distracted world made sick as the 1 result of the last war and the financial depression. Did not many then lose : so much that really makes life sweet J and pure and worth while, the loveli- ■ ness and beauty of life, the sanctity of , the marriage union, the glory of the t home. And the trouble has not stopped : with the perpetrators but has passed in the line of inheritance.” Then let the i correction begin with the elders. Instead of sheltering behind some half J truth, shall we not seek truth, simplic-,; 'ity and transparency of motive so that, ’( .even if our children detect failure and I 1 shortcomings, they shall never be able J justly to say that lbw ideal and halm: truth marred our lives.” j Returning to her parable, Miss Mac- !

kay concluded: “The gravilia 1 (father) pruned, protecting, providing; the tea (mother) ever giving of the best; and the maidenhair, enjoying and being enjoyed; each one an individual, each, one with a different work, a different sphere, but interdependent and working towards the same goal—the training of one who will fulfil man’s chief end, which is to glorify God and to enjoy Him for ever.” Miss Mackay was loudly applauded on resuming her seat. Mrs Maunsell thanked Miss Mackay for her helpful and challenging address and for travelling so far to deliver it. Speaking on behalf of the fathers, Mr A. O. Jones also thanked Miss Mackay for her wonderful talk. As one who was interested in education Mr Jones said he had closely watched the development of the “freedom” idea over recent years, and felt it .had been tried ' and found wanting. Miss Mackay had •definitely given all parents present I much inspiration as well as food for 'earnest thought which must be carried into action. ! At the conclusion of the meeting, 'supper was served by the committee.