MAORI MEMORIES

Wairarapa Times-Age, 11 September 1940, Page 3

MAORI MEMORIES

TO COURT AND MARRY. (Recorded by J.H.S., o£ Palmerston North, for the “Times-Age.”) Differing altogether from Pakeha etiquette in the question of courtship (Aruaru) proposal and marriage t (Tangohanga) the Maori girl babies iwerc betrothed by their parents to the boy babies, arrived or expected. This custom, applied particularly to the daughters and sons o£ high rank. Each sex had its band of young girls or boys who acted as guardians (kai tieki) of their behaviour up to the actual marriage, which was to them cf a delightfully informal nature. Questionable behaviour among the slaves (pononga) or the lower class (papaku) was tolerated; but these fortunately were a minority. The rights of girls and mothers to have first choice in all love affairs was a testimony to the high regard in which the gentler sex were held in esteem.. Among these more emotional creatures, jealousy was common and led to tragic results. The oft recited legend in which Hine Moa approached Tu Tanekai. her chosen lover by a long swim is an example of this pursuit by women. Having no means of secret love messages by writing, and not daring to speak first, a young man would slyly pinch the lady's knee under her mat. in which case she might agree by silence to make the “first” approach (awhi matamua). A summary refusal (whaka rere) was shown by the tip of her tongue on the upper lip (ngutu runga). Intermarriage by relatives was interdicted, and marriage by a man to two sisters, or by a woman to two brothers was permissible only where the first marriage failed to produce a son or daughter to inherit the family lands, which otherwise went to the tribe.