MAORI MEMORIES

Wairarapa Times-Age, 6 October 1939, Page 3

MAORI MEMORIES

TAPUI (Betrothal). (Recorded by J.H.S. for “Times-Age.”) Thp ceremony of tapui (betrothal) of children within ten days after the birth of a female to the son of a desirable friend whose boy may be of the same age or even up to ten seasons older, was performed by the priest as a public ceremony with the usual feasting, •» speech-making and poi dancing. Literally tapui means a life’s companion, as used in the saying, “Ona hoa haere he tapui nona” (the person going with him is his lifelong friend). This restraint upon the roving fancy of youthful affections, punishable more especially in the case of the girl, is comparable with the greater freedom of the man in civilised life, where similar vagaries would ostracise a woman.

With the free and easy community life of the young Maori boys and girls, the tapui was no doubt an effective restraint by reason of its mystery and superstition. It also assisted to bind the affections of desirable and friendly families. It cannot, however, be denied that it tended to lower the status of women and to defeat that' Divine instinct of what is known as “love at first sight.” by which the Creator mysteriously mates those of kindred spirit. The law of tapui certainly denied, especially to women, that delightful romance so dear to all men and women throughout the ages, without which marriage is not, as it should be, “A Heaven here and now.”