“WHILE SHAVING”

Wairarapa Times-Age, 20 April 1939, Page 11

“WHILE SHAVING”

(To the Editor.) Sir,—As an ex-“Bowyang Corporal'' in the since-disbanded “Colonel” Gill’s old-time “Waipoua River Battalion,” I would like to place my personal services at the. immediate command of the N.Z. Defence authorities, or the Legion of Frontiersmen, or the local branch of the N.Z. Defence League (or even the N.Z. Navy) in view of the latest news from the “Western Front” becorning daily more complex than it was ten years ago. ’ Those old River Battalion drill-in-structors of mine (“Sergeant” Jack McNab, Tom Morton and Dannie Pember who first initiated me into swift means of promotion from the ranks into N.C.O. class) will supplement my claim to be a “strategist” of no mean , order when it came to “piling arms” at “smoko,” at lunch adjournment, and especially when the final blast from the Daniell’s sawmill whistle blew at 4.30 pip emma during the 31 years active service I saw during the last “Great War of Depression,” in the years 193135. The only “military strategist,” in martial history records, enjoying greater credentials than mine (as a troop leader) is the famous duke “who marched his men up a hill, then marched ’em down again;” but I think I’ll leave this fine ducal claim to military distinction severely alone, and strive to carve out one on my “Pat Malone.” My idea is to raise sufficient local support, among our old pick and shovel brigades. to act as auxiliary scouts to the “Bulldozer Battalion,” just now snugly bivouacked at Ngahauranga Gorge in view of the chance possibility of Johnconville Township, or Wellington City being enemy-attacked. Until the said “B.B.” disposed of' the enemy in those parts, the said “W.R.8.” could locally employ themselves in digging a big “circular" trench around Masterton, and a much longer “straight” trench, from Masterton to Ngahauranga (right through the Rimutaka Hill, if time permits) thus open-ing-up a level line of direct communication with the “Semple Simonites” on the other side of the hill. If further time still permits, Sir, and Masterton inhabitants refrain from going “over the top” before zero hour sounded, my further suggestion is for the old Pick and Shovellers to drain Lake Wairarapa and lay down an alternative “strategic” light-line of railway (cutting out tunnels of any world-record dimension such as the Otira and the longproposed new Rimutaka one) in a straight line with Palliser Bay, in order to permit local Navy enthusiasts (in special excursion trains) to see the N.Z. Navy at manoeuvres in Cpok Strait, until called back to man their Masterton trenches once again. Thus cheered up a bit locally, the Bulldozer Battalion (after defeating the enemy on land) could swiftly come hurtling to our aid, thanks chiefly to the services already planned for the Pick and Shovellers of my old Waipoua River Battalion, several times mentioned as capable of undertaking “trench-digging exploits” on a grand military scale. If, Sir. the light-line strategic “alternative” railway scheme of mine doesn't meet with Military Headquarters’ approval (once started) I feel sure the Boys of the Old Brigade in which I was once a Bowyang Corporal, could easily refill Lake Wairarapa again by deepening its Cook Strait outlet (now to become a deep-sea inlet) and even permitting the Boys of the Bulldog Breed in our N.Z. Navy to do a little

(hill-sheltered) manoeuvring, close in to Featherston and Martinborough, by way of a change from doing same at open sea. Meanwhile, the world at large, must admit that the Good Old British Commonwealth of Nations (especially in New Zealand) are making splendid headway as far as Home Defence is concerned; quite apart from any of these aids of mine being brought into play just to give me a chance to don my old-time riverbed uniform once again-—I am. etc.. EX-B.Y. CORPORAL BULSH.” Masterton, April 15.