"TWO ON THE ROAD"

Wairarapa Times-Age, 29 September 1938, Page 12

"TWO ON THE ROAD"

PUBLISHED BY SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT COPYRIGHT.

BY

JOHN MACLEOD

CHAPTER ll.—(Continued). “Don’t know neither. A couple of quid should keep us in bloated luxury for a month. There’s a fair sized town ’bout three miles to the West, an’ there’s sure to be a pawnshop there.” Smith scratched his head and made an effort to' think back. “I met you on a Wednesday. That was one, two, three, and two days at Mystery' Creek’s five, yesterday This is Wednesday. This invitation is for tomorrow night. Now, how on earth can we get to Weyburn by tomorrow night and dodge all the police that are looking for us?” Shep brought his mind back from the study of the trousers and stared at Smith. “What’s that got to do with us?” he demanded. “What’s worrin’ me most is what this lot’ll fetch at ‘Uncle’s’.” Smith shook his head slowly. “It would be much too risky for any of us to go into town at present.” He looked at Shep’s disreputable clothes. “You would excite all the suspicion there was, carrying such a good suitcase. It wouldn’t take a policeman to be pretty certain that it didn’t belong to you. Even your ‘Uncle’ would open his eyes when you produced such a creditable sample of the tailor’s art.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I was wondering if by any possibility we could get to Weyburn in time for the ball. This suit might have been made for me, the way it fits. “Wh—what?” Shep stared at him in amazement. “You want to go to the ball? Struth! Here’s me famishing an’ the good Lord sends us somethin’ we can turn into eats, an’j.you want to flash up an’ go to a dance.” Smith appeared not to have heard him. He was staring straight in front of him, and tapping his forehead, as though wrestling with a knottyproblem. , “Perhaps,” he mused, “we could use the road after dark. We could hide in the undergrowth if we heard a car coming. No.” He shook his head hopelessly. “We couldn’t do 60 miles that way —not in the time, anyhow. Just then 'a. train whistled. Smith looked round in the direction of the sound, and then, with a smile, he leaned over and slapped Shep heartily on the back. “Why, of course. Why did n’F I think of that before? We’ll travel in a first-class goods waggon after dark.” Shep glared at Smith speechlessly for a full minute. It was now about twenty-four hours since they had eaten anything to speak of, and, with visions of a meal looming before them, Smith’s proposal seemed nothing short of lunacy. He admitted the danger of trying to pawn the suit, but suggested that there must be dozens of people in the outlying houses of the town who would give a good deal to possess a suit like that, and not ask any questions He offered to* go immediately and prove it, and enlarged on the various delicacies he would bring back with him, dwelling at some length on the appetising qualities of meat pies, and the wonderfully invigorating results to be derived from beer. Warming to his subject, he sketched a brief outline of a luxurious spread, in which the meat pies and beer were supported by fish and chips, the whole being topped off with a few choice cigars. All to no purpose, however. Smith, although vastly interested in the meat pies and beer, was determined to go to the ball. “There’s bound to be an abundance of eats at the ball,’he argued, “and if you can manage to last out until tomorrow night, we’ll find a hiding place for you in the shrubbery outside the hall, and I can pass out enough to satisfy even you. Real eats, too — eats you've never even guessed at, and we still have the suit. Luckily for you, one of us has brains.” “Yes, but which one?" asked. Shep, disgustedly. “Are you aware that we’ve had nothing to eat for twentyfour hours?” “Am I aware of it? Well I should say so.” "And you propose to go for another thirty-six hours without anything?” “It’s going to be hard, I admit. Maybe we could dig up a fresh interest in that rooster we were thinking of,” suggested Smith. “We can’t do that until tonight, an’ I could raise enough on them duds to keep us eatin’ for a month.” “You’d probably have indigestion long before that. You do as I say;’ leave this to me, and tomorrow night you’ll be in possession of an expanded waistline.” “And meantime,” muttered Shep disconsolately, “we starve!” “Meantime.” replied Smith with a smile, “we diet.” Shep relapsed into a moody silence. He was used to going for long spells without food, but in this case it seemso unnecessary. The means lay ready to hand, and but for Smith’s ridiculous idea of attending a fool ball, they could both have as much as they could eat and be assured of regular meals for some time to come. However, there was just the possibility that Smith’s determination would weaken as . the day advanced. He was just as hungry as Shep, and perhaps a few more hours would convince him that the ball idea was madness. With this faint ray of hope, Shep lay back to await developments. Smith produced a safety razor, and. to Shep’s intense disapproval, commenced to shave himself, using the clear watei- of the creek for a mirror. “My word," remarked Smith, when he had scraped the three days’ growth from his chin, "it seemed ages since I had a shave. Nothing like it for freshening you up—almost as good as a meal, why not have one, Shep?" “No thanks,” growled Shep. “Shaving is bad for business, an’ it looks as though one of- us ’as got to attend to business. You’ll never make a livin’ on the road if you live till you die.” Smith smiled. Shep was obviously sulking, which, under the circumstances, was quite natural. “I know you are hungry, Shep,” said Smith apologetically. "So am I, but you'll find before we’re finished that I am right. In any case, we can always sell the suit afterwards. Meantime, you can console yourself that fasting is the cure for all diseases, and the more we fast the healthier we become.” Shep looked at Smith sarcastically. “Maybe there’s somethin’ you can teach me about fastin’. If it did all you said, I’d be one of the healthiest men on earth—but I ain’t. I’ve got rheumatiz. Which reminds me, it’s goin’ to rain. Smith picked up the suitcase and

went round a corner of the shelving rock, leaving Shep to work himself into a better mood. Out of sight of his companion, Smith took his own clothes off and tried on the evening suit, after which he returned to Shep for inspection. At sight of this sudden apparition, Shep literally jumped. Being occupied with his own thoughts, he hadn’t taken much notice of Smith’s movements, and the transformation from the ragged companion of his travels to the smart well-groomed young man who now stood before him, gave him something of a shock. His jaw droppeu and his eyes seemed to start out' of his head as he stared at Smith. “Struth!” he ejaculated. With the bristles gone from his face and the rags discarded, Smith looked an entirely different person. “Will I do?” asked Smith, smiling at Shep’s bewilderment. “Do?” Well, I should say so. Why, I’d no idea you was so handsome. I wouldn’t ’ave known you meself. You look like a real bloomin’ swell.” “They are a good fit,” went on Smith, “so they shouldn’t attract any undue attention.” . He walked backwards and forwards along the creek bank for some time. “Just to get the feel of them,” he explained to Shep. “You know,” he continued, after a while, “it’s a funny thing, Shep, how much the world in general is influenced by dress. Half-an-hour ago I could have walked through the streets of any city, and if anyone had looked at me at all, it would have been in pity or contempt, depending on the nature of the interested party. If I had entered a shop and ordered a box of cigars, the shop keeper would have demanded to see my money before he produced them; or, if I had entered a jeweller’s shop and asked to see some diamond rings, I would have been arrested. Every policeman I had - met would have kept me on the move until I was outside his beat. “But now I could walk into any establishment, and they would pull out their entire stock for my inspection. I couldn’t pay for anything now any more than I could half-an-hour ago, but the dress commands respect. I could step into a taxi and be driven all over the city, and all on the strength of my appearance, clearly proving, Shep, that dress is everytning.” Shep forgot his grouch for the moment, and lay back on his elbow, listening in admiration. Smith, evidently feeling the transformation, was addressing Shep as though he were a vast audience, pausing in his stride occasionally to "What would happen if a policeman appeared in public, dressed, say, for the sake of argument, as you’re dressed, Shep? Why, nothing. No one would take the slightest notice of him. Another instance of the power of dress. Let him appear in uniform and the wrongdoer scurries for shelter. The fact that there is only an ordinary individual underneath the uniform never occurs to the casual mind.” Shep grinned delightedly. He was enjoying this immensely. “I sat,, on one last night,” he put in, by Way of giving Smith a new opening.” “Precisely,” returned Smith, grasping at the opportunity. "And that emphasises my point still more. If that policeman had been in uniform you certainly wouldn’t have sat on him. Dress plays so important a part in our lives that I am enabled to attend that ball tomorrow night.” Here Shep sobered considerably. He had forgotten about the ball for the moment, and the mention of it brought him back to earth rather suddenly. It reminded him of an everwidening cavity under the fifth button of his waistcoat. "If you took that card and tried to gain admittance,” went on Smith, “you’d never get past the door. They would immediately come to the conclusion that you had either found it or stolen it, and in all probability you would be handed over to the police. Now, would anyone dream of arresting me? Of course not. When I enter that hall tomorrow night, I will be treated with the same respect as anyone else. They won’t know Who I am, and that in itself will inspire a certain amount of respect, not knowing who I might be. Naturally, of course, one must be able to wear dress, and also be able to talk accordingly. You, for instance, Shep, would be at a loss for a subject which would interest the various people you would meet. Everyone you spoke to would find it difficult to work up much enthusiasm on the subject of eats.” “I believe I could provide enough enthusiasm for all the people in Weyburn right now,” put in Shep, thoughtfully. Smith paused and looked at him sympathetically. He had almost forgotten Shep was present. He had been talking through him. It was now Smith’s turn to come back to earth. “So could I, Shep,” he admitted. “Never mind, wait till tomorrow evening. After it gets dark, we’ll set out on a very pleasant expedition.” “We?” queried. Shep, dismally. "Are you includin’ me in your pleasant expedition?” “I thought perhaps you'd like to be in it.” Shep shook his head doubtfully. "A bird in the ’and’s my motter,” he said, sagely. “If you’d take my advice, an’ sell that suit, I’d be easier in my mind.” “If Nelson had taken advice he'd never have won the Battle of Trafalgar,” remarked Smith, with a smile. “An’ if Dick Whittington hadn’t taken advice he’d never ’ave been Lord Mayor of London,” retorted Shep. Smith made no reply to this sally. He had a shrewd suspicion that Shep had got slightly mixed somewhere, but it was a long while since he nad read fairy tales, and he wasn’t quite sure where. He changed into his own shoddy garments once more, and rejoined Shep on the creek bank. The sun climbed higher in’ the heavens and the temperature soared accordingly. Even in the shade of the rock, the pair perspired freely. They were by this time very hungry, and inclined to be ill-tempered, Shep particularly, who was under the impression that it was all so unnecessary. The prospect of another whole day to go after this one did nothing to improve matters either. "I fail to see any signs of that rain you prophesied, Shep,” remarked Smith at last. "Don’t see any signs of it meself, but it’s cornin’, all the same. I don’t get rheumatiz for nothin’,” growled Shep. “Never knew it to let me down yet.”

Smith smiled. Shep’s idea of the value of rheumatism was original. Most people consider they are being let down very badly indeed if they have it. As the day advanced, they grew hungrier and more irritable, but still Smith gave no sign of consenting to the disposal of the suit. At the slight-} est hint of weakness, Shep would have been on his feet at once, and hurrying as fast as he oould in the direction of the town, in spite of the heat. But there was no hint, Smith evidently being content to suffer. (To be Continued.)