Untitled

Wairarapa Standard, Volume II, Issue 60, 22 February 1868, Page 4

“ The following description* in verse by one of the most accomplished of our colonial contributions to colonial literature,” of a grand Ball given to His Royal Highness the Duke of Edinburgh at Cape Town appears in the “ Cape Standard ”of September 28, 1867. A copy of the verses was given by Sir George Grey (who is an old friend of the writer), to a relation of the author residing in Wellington, by whom they were handed to us for publication, together with a similar description of the Prince's Elephant, which we shall also publish. THE PEOPLE’S BALL. In Caledon square. Stands an edifice bare, Of an ugly and strictly commercial air, With a gate on each side, Standing open wide, Through which every day flows amotley tide, Of all sorts of colours and all sorts of races, And costumes as varied in hue as their faces. In short, it’s the market where everything's sold, Where potatoes'and turnips are tinned into gold; Where agents and shippers Provision their clippers, And skinny Cape chicken’s are sold the skippers; A place not agreeable to eye or to nose. And by no means exhaling a “ bo-quet de rose.” • Kow you’ve all of yon read the Arabian Nights, With its wonderful wizards and mischievious sprites; Slaves of the lamp and slaves of the ring, Who with all sorts of queer metapmorhoses bring; Changing old women tocharmingprlncesses, Bottling up giants who have got into

messes, Turning King's palaces into mere shanties, And playing •• inferno ” that language of Dantes— Can pull man through where danger of cant is. Well in this land of prose. As every one knows, We’ve no vizards, nor sprites, nor magician like those; But carpenters, builders, And painters and guilders. And upholsters and drapers, whose magic bewilders, At the spot took a glance. Saw a capital chance, And changed this old mart to a “ salon de danse; ” With ante-rooms, cloaking-rooms. Eating-rooms, smoking-rooms. Supper-rooms, whist-rooms, and rooms for potation. And nice little corners for quiet flirtation. There were gardens and bowers, And fountains and flowers, And mosses and ferns, and glass prisms in showers. And calico too— Glazed, pink, white and blue. And mirrors and curtains whose hanging so nice is, And gas-lights in all sorts of shape and devices. For a prince drew nigh a Prince had come— With sound of trumpet and sound of drum, And sound of cannon and sound of lung ; And ev’ry day thoughts to the wind were flnng. And the people with joy and with hope were giddy, At the thought of a Prince they had known

as a middy, The Prince was aiming to grace the hall— The people's guest at the People’s Ball— And ev'ry one said, and swore to it to, (And what ev’ry one swears to must be • true), Such a Prince as this Prince is the world never knew. The clocks have struck nine, ard the nightly gun, Has attested there truth by responding one, There’s a crowd and a crush, and a dust

and a noise, And tall angry peelers and cliaily small boys, And coachmen who holloa and horses who jib, And people who tremble for limb or for rib, Come rushing and dashing, And crowding and crasbiug, And swearing and shouting, and cutting and lashing— All making their way To this spot, which I say. Had been changed from a mart to a “salon de fees.” And, once inside, The glory and pride Of Cape Town plebooracy saw and sighed— Saw all the migical changes made, Saw all the glories of lace and brocade, Saw beauty in silks and jewels arrayed : In short, saw and heard all the place displayed ; The ladies’, the lights, The sounds and the sights, The Prince with his stars, —and Sir William in tights! And sighed to think how soon alas 1 Those sights and sounds away mast pass ; How soon that fountain, where fairies might wisli To dip their pinions, must wash dead fish ; How soon the fair maidens silver}' laugh Must change to the dirty coolies chaff ! How soon the sweet perfume now floating round Must yield to the odour of greens unsound ; But away to the dance ! Watch the smile and the glance Of each who has gained the “parti” he he desires ; And the grave look of some, Approaching the “glum,” Who stuck with the la lies' “position" retire. The solemn quadrille Is soon ended and still, Again round the music for galop and waltz, For polka, mazurka— What terrible work a Poor dancer goes through ere he finally halts, And still, as they dance, how fair ones contrive, To watch all the Dcke does—and oh, how they strive To catch just a look from the eyes of young royalty— Of course not for vanity, simply for loyalty. And then how they envy the partners he chooses; To see the blue “ cordon.” Whirl round with the 6—d—n, Or the blushes that deck The fair cheeks of the F—k, Or the pleasure that lichts up the “ petite ” D—P—t As the Duke leads her off in a favorite ‘pas’ Though they prove the sad truth of the adage ‘ non enivis’ Contingit adire Corinthnm,” They strive his Sweet smiles to obtain And again and again Fnd artifice wasted and labour in vain, Tet still fondly hope to secure by a fluke What Major Pendennis would call “The Book.” Meanwhile with a smile and an air “ nonchalante,” The Prince in a princely way plays the gallant. Now charting, now dancing, now cracking a joke, And now in his ante-room puffinghissmo'ke. At least so they whisper, and say that aii bets

With the ladies must henceforth be “ mild cigarettes.” But midnight has passed, and the signal is made, Up rises the curtain and supper’s displayed, Chief Justice Sir William stalks up to the head Of a table with “ entries ” and ‘ entremets ’ spread, With the Duke on his left—on the left K.C.B.— And the Commandant F and the Commodore P., Bright red and bright blue, all in due order set. And all armed to the teeth—that is, a “la fourchette.” What boots it to tell How the small folks as well Rushed into the supper-room, scamping pell-mell— How the turkeys diminished How chickens were finished, How sparkling champagne Fizzed again and again, Till no bottle was left with a drop or a drain. And still as they eat, With one eye on the plate, The other was fixed on the Prince in his state, As though wanting to see, If Prince and K.G. Demolished his supper like you and me. Why tell of the speeches ?—Thank Heaven but few— After supper could mortal say anything new ? Yet one little word, Just a sound must be heard, To tell how the genial Chairman delighted With pride and with loyalty excited, Made a speech in which Burns And the mint took their turns, And beth of them proved to a clear demonstration. That the Prince is true grit and the pet of the nation. And a little word more to record with what joy, The voice we had heard from the lips of a boy Siqote again on onr ears, in its manly frank tones, Such a voice as none else save VICTORIA owns. Come away, we’ve done eating—the piper stands steady— Strike up Tallachgorum—the dancers are ready; And away with the Belle starts the Prince in a canter, while Mr Haig follows suit, vis-a-vis with the V-d-B-How they footed away. Like wild children at play, How good Mrs B.— Danced so nimbly and well, That, people now spell Her name with an “e ” and pronounce her “ la belle ” All this and much more I’ve no leisure to tell, For its getting to late, And the “ jarvies ” who wait Are smoking, and sleeping, and cursing their fate, And the Prince, too, has gone, We’re left standing alone With legs rather shakly, and thoroughly blown. ♦ * * » The clock has struck five, And more dead than alive' We turn into bed and for slumber strive, But, turn as we may, The scene “ won’t ” pass away Fer even while snoozing, Onr senses while losing, And just as we think to subside in a snore. Comes again and again, with a head splitting roar, ‘■The Duke, hip-hip-hurrah, hoys, and three cheers more I ” A.W.C.

A CRUEL FREAK. An incident which occurred in a town of this country (says the Cork Examiner) is worth preserving 1 . That the story may excite no incredulity, it is necessary to remember that ever since Nebuchadnezzar went out a-grazing—no doubt under the idea that he was an ass—mankind have been subject to mental delusions as extravagant as they are for the most part unaccountable. The patient in the present case is a young man of respectability, some time student in a local college, which quitting on the death of his father, he yielded to an inclination for strong liquors and ended by becoming a confirmed drunkard, encouraged in his unfortunate career by a set of dissolute companions. His excessess begot their inevitable consequences, each debauch being succeeded by paroxysms of delirium tremens, which manifested itself in a tendency to assume the characteristics of whatever object prepossessed his mind immediately previous to the excess. The fantasies of the poor fellow furnished inexhaustible opportunities for unfeeling practical jokes to the knot of boon companions who shared his orgies, and even suggested to him the particular thing they wished him to personate. For instance, last Mny, on on returning from a protracted fishing expedition, he drank heavily for several days; and, dipsomania setting it, his “friends” informed him he was a salmon. His paralysed intellect, unable to reject the absurd idea, as usual succumbed, and throwing himself on the carpet of the hotel he sprawled and floundered along the floor amid the merriment of the graceless spectators, who flung him the end of a line, which he seized in his mouth, and after considerable play amongst the furniture, a flesh-fork being stuck by way of a gaff in the waistband of his trousers, he was was gravely landed on the top of a sofa. But his fenzy of last week was of a more elaborate character. He bad been to the Paris Exhibition, and upon his return drank till sense and reason fled. His companions, who had waited for the moment of imbecility, solemnly informed him that he had been transformed into a cooked shoulder of mutton, and suggested as a graceful act of courtesy that he should sacrifice himseif to the apetites of his friends. To this he consented with ridiculous provisions as to the manner of his carving, and the accessories of the feast. A large bathing dish was procured, in which he was placed undressed, and then clapped on the table. Probably the outrage would never have been heard of had not the conspirators, no doubt possessed by the spirit of their incapable associate, resolved on a regular saturnalia. Accordingly, the landlord of the hotel, whose connection with the young

man has received much local censure, arrayed himself in a bonnet and gown of his wife—in retaliation, it was whispered, for that lady’s unsurpation of a certain article of masculine attire. Another of the party, smeared and otherwise, metamorphosed himself into a North American Indian; another, fastening a huge bed-tick round his body, waddled corpulency ; a fourth fixed a whole battery of culinary utensils on his person, with a large tray like a herald’s tabard in front, while the remainder of the party made themselves equally appropriate 11 toilets.’’ A sonours grace having been pronounced, one of the party proceeded with the back ot a carving knife to score a limb of the passive victim, who, deceived by the movement of the knife, thought he was being painlessly dissected, and implored •be carver to distribute him fairly, that his friends might each have a full taste of his quality. An immense clatter of plates and all the pantomine of a barmecide feast followed. Soon a guest pronounced the meat execrable, another said M—was always a tough-looking fellow and likely to cut up bably; but when a third accused him of having palmed himself off as good food on his friends, and suggested that he should be conveyed to the kennel, the insulted man, springing from his strange cried with honest indignation, “You ungrateful scoundrels, I’ll pay you off—see if I don’t disagree with every mother’s son of you,” seizing at the same time the carving knife, which he-brand-

ished with the energy of madness. This was a contingency wholly unexpected. But there was no help for it, and the company, tumbling through the open window and the door, rushed into the street, M—after them like a Malay running a muck. The spectale of a bald and bare-headed woman with luxuriant whiskers, a. tattooed and blanketed savage, a young gentleman floundering in an enormous girth of bed t ; ck, another with an entire of pots, kettles, pans, and gridirons bumping and clatering upon him, and several others in equally outlandish figures flying frantically before a man perfectly “ an naturel” in attire, made, it may be presumed, a sensation in the quiet country town. All the out-door population fled helter skelter—a mingled route of men, wemen, and children, distracted pigs, galloping donkeys, yelping curs, and shrieking poultry tore through the main street. The oldest inhabitant gave it up—he had never witnessed anything like that scene before. Serious consequences might have ensued had not the cause of all the commotion, overcome by excitement and debility, fainted. He was carried home, his hartless companions endeavouring to sneak quietly out of public view; but their cruel freak got wind, and aroused in the vicinity far more indignation than amusement.