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Wairarapa Standard, Volume II, Issue 54, 13 January 1868, Page 3

Josh Bilings on Musquitoes.—Mr Billinas thus expresses himself on the musquitnes;—“ Wo were told that there Avarn’t ennything made in vain ; this is sum so, but I hiiA’e thought the time spent iu manufacturing mnsketoze must haA-e been Avastcd, if the mnsketoze Avarn’t. Hoav they Avcre put together I never could tell; and there is one commershell peculiarity about the musketeer trade, and that is, the supply ahvays exceeds the demand, and yet the prodnksion is not diminished; 1 kan’t understand this no lioav. They are born of poor, but industrious parents, and are brought up Avith care under the auspices uv some uv our best families. They have a great impudence, and don’t hesitate tew stick their best friends Avith a bad bill. They have also consummate currage. I have known a single musketeer to file a man and his wife all nitc long, and dnnv the lirst blood.” A Priest avos called upon to pray over tlio barren fields of his parishioners. He passed from one enclosure to another and pronounced his benediction, until he came to a most unpromising case. He surveyed the sertilc acres in despair. “Ah!” said he, “brethren, no use to pray here—this needs manure.” Friendship. —“ That’s a very stupid brute of 3’ours, John,” said a Scotch minister to his parishioner, the "pcEd-dcalcr, Avho drove his merchandise from door to door in a small cart drawn by a donkey ; “ I never see you but the creature is braying.”—“Ah, sir,” said the pcatdeaier, “ ye kea the heart’s warm Avhen friends meet.” Liberal Treatment. —“ Sure,” said Patrick rubbing his head with delight at the prospect of a present from his employer; “1 ahvays mane to do my duty.”—“ I believe you,” replied the employe) - : “ and, therefore, I shall make you a present of all you have stolen from me during the year ” —“ 1 thank your honor,” replied Pat; “ and may all your friends and. acquaintances tratc you as libearally.” Doing the Old ’Un. —We arc glad to hear that Mr Chaplin, the owner of Hermit, has gh'cn £12,000 of his winnings to the fund for restoring Lincoln Cathedral. Considering who the Old Gentleman is avlio, in the proverb, is said to “ look over Lincoln,” this is a highly appropriate gift. Wc will henceforth loth over, the cathedral Avith more satisfaction than ever AVe avou ld suggest that another £ 12,000 of Mr C.’s Derby winnings might advantageously be given towards the foundation of a “ Chaplaincy ” for the Jockey Club, Avith a “ box” at Tattevsall’s attached.—“ Punch.” A Greyheaded Cow. — Mr W. IT. Williams, of the Four-mile Creek, Little Billabong, had an old red coav thirty-three years of age that Avas given to him when ho avss a boy, which had lelt off calving about eight .years ago. The animal was covered with grey hair to the eyes, and Avas a moving picture of bovine oh! age. A few days ago the agcsl animal went into a Avater-holeand got bogged, and not having strength to extricate herself, she quietly succumbed to her fate. —“Albury Banner.” A Prize. 'Vegetable.—As a proof (r-ays the ‘Tamut Times ’ of the Ist inst.) of the fertility of our soil, and what can be effected by careful gardening, avg may mention that a Chinaman offered a gigantic brocoli. weighing 2:.ilbs., for sale in our township on Saturday morning. Whether the vegetable was purchased by an epicurean vegetarian for his individual consumtion, or a company wont iu for shares iu it we ' are unable to state., e