CHRISTMAS.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume I, Issue 51, 23 December 1867, Page 4

CHRISTMAS.

... . i It pomes again, throng'! joy ana pain, | TLat LigU and holy day, i A solemn landmark on our path ! As t.ie years lied, fast away ; j In at hallow'd clay, when heaven gave i Its bond of love to earth, ! The sacred tame that warms the heart, The altar, home, and hearth. And may it now o'er earth and men With holy influence fall. And Christmas per.ee and Christinas love Descend on each and all: Descend with sweet and soothing calm On spirits tempest-tost. And solace, with its heavenly balm, For the joys each heart hath lost, — For hopes now dead, for pleasures flown, Lost trust and darken’d faith, For the hurt’s mute woe for idols gone, For the shadows cast by death ; For the fair, false dreams of gladness o'er, Joys perish’d in oar grasp, For eyes that smile on us no more, For hands we cease to clasp ; For the cold, cold chill, the sadness strange That o'er our hearts doth fall, As we mark the shadows of time and change Stealing on each and all. Yet we will not dwell on thoughts like these, As we hail the hallow’d day, For time cannot quench sweet memories, Though it fades our hopes away; But with Christmas faith and Christmas love Let us bend at its hallow’d shrine, Or meet around the social board With feelings warm and kind ; And welcoming cheer to the friends we meet, ‘May we give on the happy day, And wishes kind with blessings join’d To the dear ones far away. While memories sweet of those we've loved, And those who loved ns best, The friends who toil with ns below, And the friends who are gone to rest, Shall blend with its memories sublime, And haunt us mom and even ; For ’tis meet that onr thoughts in that solemn time Should be mingled of earth and heaven ; And be hallow’d by what was taught by Him, Our Prince and pattern still, The love that worketh good to all, The faith that thinks no ill. So may we find in its holy calm A beam of that heaven-sent ray. The sunshine of that glorious land. Whose joys pass not away,— A foretaste blest of that blissful rest In that home of peace and love, Where the Bridegroom’s call shall welcome all To the Christmas least above. M. T. W. CONUNDRUMS FOE CHRISTMAS. When do you see what is invisible ?—When yon see how yon feel. Why is a handsome woman like bread ?—Because she is often toasted. When is a young lady like a poacher ?—When •she has her hair in a net. What fruit does a newly-married couple mostly resemble 2—A green pair. What article of clothing do the artist and dentist resemble ?—A pair of drawers. Why is an Israelitish swindler like a musical instrument ?—Because he is a Jew sharp. Why is Sims Reeve’s voice like a crown ? Because it’s replete with precious tones. Why does a salmon die before it lives 2—Because its existence is “ ova’’ before it comes to life. Why is a mountain stream a paradox ?—Because though always murmuring, it never complains. Why is a man who beats his wife like an exquisitely formed dog I —Because he is a perfect brute. Why is a milkmaid like Pharoah’s daughter ? Because she gets a little profit out o! the water. Why is an accepted suitor like a person guilty of a crime ?—Because he ought to be transported. Why is the second wife of a widower with a family like a Roman king I —Because she is a Kuma (new ma.) Why is a photographic album like the drainer on a bar counter ?—Because it is often a receptacle for empty mugs. What is the difference between a crockerydealer and a cabinet-maker ?—One sells tea-setts and the other settees. When is a young gentleman finishing bis toilette like a restless young pig I —When he tumbles about his tie (sty). Why is a young lady' from boarding-school like a building committee I —Because she is ready to receive proposals. When does a modem swell torture himself by puncturing his leg 2—When he drives a a long pin through his scarf (calf.) Vrit is the late Lod Chancellor like Othello ? Because he was attorney- (a lawny) general,and bis occupation’s gone. When Adam was asked what religion be was, what was his answer ?—He said he didn’t exactly know, but he thought Eve-angelical. What is the difference between stabbing a man and killing a hog 2—One is assaulting with intent to kill, and the other killing with intent to salt. Vi by is it natural that a young lady having seven lovers should desire to add another to the list' —..ecause all ladies wish to fasten eight (fr.hmte). '. by does an old lady ornamenting her hair with an ostrich plume resemble a Thames waterman scientifically rowing ?—Because she is feathering her scull. Why is it that the moment of popping the question is so terrible to young fellows that they frequently cannot utter a word ?—Because, just then, they love the fair one beyond expression.