VARIETIES.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume I, Issue 31, 5 August 1867, Page 4

VARIETIES.

The Fashionable Frenzy.— The poultry mania may be defined to be a norbid tendency to brood over chickens. An editor, in drawing attention to an article against ardent spirits in one of the inner pages of his paper, says“ For the effect of intemperance, see our inside” Pro-Punch and Turtle.— From the portentious fact of a temperance meeting held at the Mansion House, it may be surmised that the Lord Mayor and alderman are about to embrace tea-turtle principles.—“ Punch” Wanted. —An editor for a back-wood’s gazette—one that can fight, steal items, and bluff creditots. One that can do all this can hear of a good situation by applying to Mr. Smithers, Podunck Gazette. Kissing. —An American says, that when a Bergen girl gets kissed she very calmly remarks “Hans, tat ish good;” and when a Black Island girl receives a buss she exclaims, with considerable animation, “Well, John, you’ve wiped my chaps off beautiful.”

A Gextlejun of the name of Pepper had been thrown several times from a spirited horse, and relating the circumstances to a friend, at the same time observing he had never given his horse a name, “ I think," observed his friend, “ you should call him Peppercaster.” “What part of speech is man ?” said a pedagogue to a sailor-boy pupil. “A verb sir,” replied the latter. “ A verb, is it ?” said the teacher, with a significant twist of the lips; ‘ please give an example.”—“ Man the yards!” was little Tarpaulin’s instant response. A furrier, wishing to inform the public that he wonld make up furs in a fashionable manner out of old furs which ladies have at home appended the followering to his advertisement:— “ h T B. Capes, victorines, &c., made up for ladies in fashionable styles, out of their own skins.”