VARIETIES.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume I, Issue 11, 16 March 1867, Page 4

VARIETIES.

Working Force from Water Pressure. — There has recently been exhibited in England a “hydraulic coal-cutting machine” which, with a supply of thirty gallons of water per minute, at a pressure of 300 pounds, will do as much - work as twenty men. Such a machine is at at work at a mine near Leeds; and when once supplied with water, it keeps going, using the same quantity over and over again as long as may be desired, making twenty-five strokes a minute. It runs on the rails laid in the mines, and by the more pressure of water will cut a length of nearly forty feet an hour, and is so simple that an ordinary miner can work it.

A Goon Old Horse.— Mr. W. Camming, merchant, Lynwilghas a horse in his possession which has attained the great age of thirty-four years. This animal was once in the property of the extensive horse-hirer, Mr. Croall of Edinburgh, and for twenty-six years ran in the coach between Perth and Auctherarder. Mr. Gumming is very proud of this old servant and has named it “ Croall ” after Ms original owner. “ Croall ” bids fair to live many years yet, if we may judge from its running powers it being nothing extraordinary for him to trot ten miles an hour.—lnverness Courier.

A Tipperary Turk.— During the operation of the allies in the Crimea it was resolved to carry the water in from a beautiful spring of the finest croton of the camp. Leather pipe or hose was employed, which seas laid on the ground. One morning, while the water was being supplied, the minaret sounded to prayers, and one of the Turkish soldiers immediately went on his knees to praise Allah. Unfortunately, he went down upon the hose, and Ms weight suddenly stopped the current of that “firstof elements,” as Pinder calls water. “ Get up cried an English soldier. “Youlezvous avoir la bonte, mon clier Monsieur Turque,” cried a Frenchman, with his native politeness, “to get up ?” “ That ain’t the way to make the Turk move,” cried another. “ This is the dodge.” So saying, he knocked the turban offi. Still the pious Mussulman went on with Ms devotion. “ Til make him stir his stumps,” said the other Englishman, giving him a remarkably hard kick. To the wonder of all, the unturbanned, well-kicked follower of the prophet-still went on praying. “Hoot awa, mon I’ll show you how we serve obstinate folks at Auld Reekie,” quietly observed a Scotchman. He was, however prevented; for the Turk, having flushed his “ Allah vin en Allah,” rose and began to take off his coat, then to roll up his sleeves, and then to put himself in the most approved boxing attitude. He then advanced in true Tom Sayers style to the Englishman who had kicked Mm. “ A ring! a ring! ” shouted the soldiers and sailors, perfectly astonished to see a Turk such an adept in the fistic art. The Englishman, nothing loth to have a bit of fun with the Turk of such a John Bull turn of mind, set to work, but found he had met his master. In five minutes he had received his quantum sufficit. As the Turk cooly replaced his coat and turban, he turned round and said to the admiring bystanders, in the pure brogue, Bad luck to ye, ye spalpeens ! Whin ye’re afther kickin’ a Turk I’d advise ye, to be share he’s not an Irishman! ” Tiie mystery was solved—the Turk was a Tipperary man. A young minister in a country parish, who prided himself on speaking the purest English, told Ms servant to extinguish the candle, What’s your will sir ? ” said Jenny. “ Put out the candle," said the minister. A few days afterwards, when lie was entertaining some friends at dinner, Jenny asked if she should extinguish the cat. A Romantic young- lady fell into the river, and was likely to be drowned, but a preserver accidentally appeared, and she was conveyed in a state of insensibility to her home. When she came to herself, she declared she would marry the saver of her life. “ Impossible,” said her father. “ Is be already married then?” inquired she. “No.” “Is he not the young man who lives in our neighbourhood ? " “ No, it is a Newfoundland dog.”