A BALL-ROOM STORY.

Waikato Argus, Volume VII, Issue 488, 16 September 1899, Page 1 (Supplement)

A BALL-ROOM STORY.

Tiiß following incident occurred at a ball given by the mayor cf one of our large manufacturing towns. At one end of the large hall where it was held there was a small portion curtained off for cards. Two young men behind this were drawing on their gloves preparatory to doing tho'light fantastic,'and the following conversation took place : ' I say Bi'iggs, have you danced with Miss Portly?' ' No, who is she, and what is she like ?'

' Oh, she is that short, stout porson, in green silk.' ' Great Scott! Dance with that lump ! No, thanks. It would be like drawing a cart round the room.'

' Yes, old fellow, bnt you must remember that she has any amount of cash. Thirty thousand pounds, if a penny,' ' Oh, that alters the case. I'll go and ask the 'old girl for a dance, if you will introduce me.'

Now it so happened that the ' old girl' had been silting on the other the curt .n, and had heard all the foregoing conversation. She moved quickly away, and was sitting some distance off, when little Briggs was brought up to be introduced. After going through that ceremony, he asked if he might have the pleasure of putting his name down for a dance.

' Dance with me, Mr Briggs !' said Miss Portly with a smile. 'Oh, dear, no ! I belong to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, and I should be too heavy a cart for a little donkey like you to draw.

A paper in Cornhill treats of the " Humors of School Inspection," in which tho writer states that " the wildest and most startling answers come invariably from girls." Ho tells of a composition exerciso written by a boy of twelve years of age. the subject " Tho History of a Table," being given him by a subiuspeotor, who stood over him while he wrote the essay:—"l am not a timetable or a multiplication table. I am a highly polished, refined, aristocraticlooking dining-table. I have not always held tho position Ido now. Once upon a time I was a rough country chap, and lived in a wood. However, 1 was given to understand that I must shift anddo something in tho world beside standing in thesunshiuo all day listening to birds and watching tho babbling stream. It was a cruel wrench to leave my home, and I confess I was cut up very much to my very heart. I was deprived of all my bolongings, not being allowed to carry away anything except my trunk, which contained all I had in the world. I was not even allowed to niako my bow when I took my leave, so I trust you twig my meaning.