"HAD" ALL ROUND.

Waikato Argus, Volume V, Issue 351, 8 October 1898, Page 1 (Supplement)

"HAD" ALL ROUND.

Two men sat in a top room in a dirty looking house in a street to match, off the Strand. lb was the private office of tho After Dark Club, an institution which opened its doors at 10 p.m., and sold bad champagne and worse cigars to the flats who patronised it. One of the men was Mr Gadfly, the proprietor of the After Dark, the other was Jimmy Winks, his fidns achates.

Mr Gadfly was gloomy and he had sousht the advice of his friend in this hour of tribulation. The After Dark had fallen somewhat flat of late, aud in order to give things a much needed fillid he had advertised a grand fancy dress ball, tickets a guinea each had not gone off as he had hoped they would, and he felt below par, distinctly below par. ' I think I know how we can make things go," said Jimmy after a few moment's deep reflection, " You have heard of Cape Colony, tho diamond Johnny ? Well he arrived in London yesterday. Curious to say I bear a remarkable resemblauce to him, and I thought that if I posed as Cape Colony and you put it about that he is coming, there would be a big rush for tickets, especially on the part of the ladies. Everyone wants to see him, and I'm sure it would be au enormous sensation.'

Mr Gadfly was sharp enough to see that there was something in the idea, and so he agreed to try the experiment. If it succeeded, well and good ; if it failed there would be no harm done. And it would cost him little or nothing.

There was considerable stir in the After Dark Club. It was not wholly occasioned hy the fact that the fancy dress ball was about to start on its wild career, or that the arrival of the contingent of the:pretticat girls from the Lingerie Theatre in startling costumes of white ostrich feathers and pink satin bows, was momently expected. The real cause of the animated looks and of the excited conversation was the report that Mr Cape Colony the Diamond Emperor, as he was called, was expected to shed the light of his countenance and of his brilliauts upon the company assembled in the pretty little ballroom.

Everyone had heard of Mr Cape Colony ; every man in the street knew him —by reputation. His fame was on every tongue ; his photograph in every window. The illustrated papers published accounts of his remarkable career and gave pictures of his wonderful collections of diamonds. Respectable city people on their way to business per underground railway spoke darkly of his colossal wealth ; chorus girls in their dressing rooms found in the subject an absorbing and never ending topic of conversation. Some declared on the highest authority that he could not be worth less than five or six million sterlings : others doubled that sum and then seemed to think that thsy were below the mark. The fact remained however that Mr Cape Colony was abominably rich, and that the principal of his wealth was contained in the collection of diamonds of winch he was the happy possessor. Little wonder then, that the Club ballroom was full to overflowing, and that the ladies had put on quite their prettiest costumes. Mr Cape Colony was a bachelor, and it remained to be seen who would be successful iu snapping both him and his diamonds up. Among those who smiled with exceeding broadness was Mr Ephraim Smuggs, a gentleman of Hebrew extracation whose income was derived from one source in particular. Mr Smuggs turned his hands to anything, and as he had no foolish compunctions as to the honesty or'othcrwise of the enterprises ot which he embarked, he managed to get along somehow, to sport a fur coat and a decanter stopping ring all of which carried great weight iu the select circle which patronised the After Dark Club.

Mr Smuggs was alone for some time, anil then a lady in a frock of much charni and exceeding brevity came up to him and the two adjourned to an unoccupied ante-room where they were alone.

Mr Smugg's first act was to critically examine the lady from top to toe: ' Yes, you'll do Dolly,' he remarked approvingly, at the close of his inspection. ' You look uncommonly nice,' and he leered atelier with his red aud watery eyes. ' ' That's all right. Now what's the game to-night. Something good, I hope, for I haven't gone to all this trouble for nothing, I can tell you ' 'Of course you haven't, my dear. I have got a big thing up ray sleeve, an uncommonly big thing, and if all goes well wo ought to do Dicely out of it.' • What is it; or rather who is it ?' ' You know Cape Colony !' ' Who doesn't ?' 'Well, he is coining here to night, and he's going to bring a lot of diamonds.' ' Who told vou ?'

' Never you mind ; I've heard. Of course you've got to freeze ou to him—he's uncommonly fond of the ladien, I'm told, and a pretty face turns his head before anything else. And yours is a pretty face Dolly.' ' All right—l've heard that before, Go ahead.'

' When you have danced with him, and—ahem —had some wine, you must suggest supper. You must tell him, however, that supping arrangements at the clue are shocking, and suggest an adjourment to the little restaurant up the street—you knew the one ?' Dolly nodded. ' Good girl !' I'll put a little something into the wine '

' But he'll smell if I don't drink any !' ' You must drop your ulaes and smash it. Then say you don't like the brand he has ordered, and he'll order another. That'll be all right,' and Mr Smuggs chuckled as he continued softly, ' he'll drop off to sleep in half an hour and then '

' I'm to help myself, eh ?' •Quite so, and'hand me all you get. I'll pop over to Amsterdam and get rid of the stones in a twinkling.' ' But where do I come in ?' ' We'll go halves my dear, in all you get.' ' !Not much,' said Dolly firmly, 'I am not &uch a flat as to trust in you. 1 know you too well, I don't forget that I havn't had my little commission on several little affairs which I pulled through for you months ago, Once you get hold of any money, Smuggs, my boy, you stick to it, yes stick to it like glue. I want something on account and in advance. You might take it into your head when you get to Amsterdam to go on to America, you know. You might happen to forget our little sharing arrangements, and then where should I be V

Mr Smuggs knew where she would be but he thought it unnecessary to say so. Die merely made a grimace. ' You're a hard 'un Dolly, as ever was. "What do you want !' ' Five hundred.'

After some natural hesitation on Ephrairn's part he produced bank notes to the amount and handed them over to Dolly. He bad scarcely completed the transaction when a sudden buz/ in ballroom announced that something special was happening. ' Capo Colony has arrived,' whispered Mr Smuggs furtively glancing through the half-open door. ' Now my dear, off you go and remember your old pal, Ephraim. Wc shall meet again later on.'

Mr Smuggs waited outside the restaurant such a long time that he began to feel quite cold. Then he got annoyed, and finally his impatience overmastered him, and he went inside. He inquired if a lady and gentleman—the lady wearing a fancy costume —had supped here that night. Yes a party answering to that description had had u private room. But they had gone. Gone! Yes, some thtee quarters of an hour since. They had, for some reason best known to themselves, requested to be allowed to leave by the back entrance, and tho proprietor always anxious to oblige his customers, had consented. Tho lady had left a letter for a gentleman whom she said would call. Was Mr Smuggs the gentleman referred to ? Mr Smuggs didn't know but he said ' yes ' all the same, and snatched at the letter with tho eagerness of a cat after a mouse. With trembling hands he tore open the envelope and read : ' Dear Smuggs, Cape Colony turned out to be such a nice sort that I hadn't the heart to do as wc arranged. So I sent the wine you doctored away and ordered a fresh bottle. After dinner Cape Colony proposed marriage, and I accepted. As his future wife, 1 could not, of course, think of helping myself to his jewellery for it will be all mine before long. ' The £SOO you gave me will do nicely to get my trousseau, and I shall see that you get an invitation to tho wedding. —Yours' ever, Dolly.'

To say that Mr Smuggs swore would be to apply an expression of exceeding mildness to the verbal performance which he went through on the doors! ep. When he recovered his normal composure, he hastened back to the club, and with a queer expression upon his face dashed off the following epistle whish he despatched per post to Dolly's residence : ' You think you have done a very clever thing and perhaps you have. But as a friend, I should advise you not to make use of those hank notes I gave you they arc wrong uns.—Yours, Emikaim.' Then Mr Smuggs went home to bed.

When he roso on the following morning the first thing that caught his eyes was tho announcement in tho papers as to the effect that Miss Dolly Dinglcton, of the Magnesium theatre was engaged to Mr Cape Colony, of London and Africa and that the marriage would take placs at an early date. Dolly, anxious not to lose any time in making her good fortune known"had sent the paragraph round herself.

Later on in the day the post brought Mr Smuggs the following note : ' Dear Old Chap.—Just a Hue to say that I have fallen into a bit of good luck, and by the time you get this I shall he off to America. It all happened at the After Dark Club, of all places last night. Were you there ? If so you may have seen the famous Mr Cape. Colony. I was Mr Cape Colony. To oblige old Gttdfly I disguised myself as that gentleman and not a soul saw through the swindle and I received a maguificient reception. It was glorious! During the evening I came across a, rather smart girl, Dolly something or other, and we had supper together. In the course of the meal a regular stroke of luck fell to my share. I aecidcutly discovered that the little woman had a hundlo of hank notes in her pocket. Needless to say I speedily helped myself to them. Then we had an awful spree and for a joke I proposed marriage She jumped at me, accepted me, and we arranged to meet together tomorrow and settle things. Of course I shan't turn up. I shall be on my way to the States, where I mean to have a good time, for, on examining the notes I found that they were for no less a sum than 6500. What do you say to that isn't it glorious. 'Yours in'haste, Jimmy Winks.' (Alias for one night only, 'The Diamond Emperor.' The papers that evening contained two rather interesting items of news. The first ran :

"A man named James AVinks was arrested at Waterloo Station this evening in the act of passing a counterfeit hank note. On being examined, spurious notes

to the value of .£SOO were found in his possession. He was at once arrested, and will be brought up at the police-court tomorrow.'

The second was equally brief

' We are requested by Mr Cape Colony to say that the report that he is engaged to Miss Dinglcton, of the Magnesium Theatre, is absolutely devoid of foundation. Mr Cape Colony has never even mot the lady whose name has been coupled with his.'

And when Mr Smuggs read the paragraphs he laughed until the windows positively rattled. —Tho Pelican.