ENLISTING A LAWYER

Waikato Argus, Volume V, Issue 315, 16 July 1898, Page 5 (Supplement)

ENLISTING A LAWYER

Ax old recruitimr sergeant tells the following:—l 'listed a recruit ia Dublin, and put the question to him, as is usual, and got him to the barracks as fine as a fiddle. Well, in a few days he was claimed as a 'prentice, and so he was had up before the Mayor, and he committed him for trial. At the following 'sizes I was c died as a witness, and the lawyer that defended him told ine that I did not 'list him. ' I did,' says I. ' Did you put the question to him rightly ?' said he. ' I did,' says I. 'By the virture of your oath, now,' says he, ' just ask me the questions, for I don't believe you asked him.' ' How do you know ?' says I, ' for by this and by that you weren't by.' 'None of your business.' says he, and he held out his hand, and accordingly I pulled out a shilling and clapped it in his fist, and then I asked him all. ' Were those the same questions you put to the prisoner ?' says he. ' Yes, they were,' says I. ' Well, here's your shilling back for you,' says he. • ' I can't take it, sir,' siy3 I. ' Why not ?' says he. 'Why,' says I, ' why, shure, 1 can't take it hack till you go before the magistrate and piy the "smart money"' (which every recruit must pay if he wants to be released from the service). ' You be hanged,' says he, and he put the money in his pocket, aud I called to hia lordship on the bench for a witness that I had Misted him ; and oh. but there was a roar in the court. Begorra, the judge laughed till the tear 3 ran down his face. Well, the decision of the court being in my favour, I axed the judge if I might take away my recruit, aud they all roared again, and the counsellor got. as red as a turkey-cock and nearly mad When I told the Mayor. I thought he'd die, and when he'd done laughing he bid me keep the smart money ' for myself.