THE GHOST WITH A WOODEN LEG.

Waikato Argus, Volume IV, Issue 272, 9 April 1898, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE GHOST WITH A WOODEN LEG.

I am a barrister by profession, and though but a few years have passed since I was called to the bar, I am pleased to say by practice too. But as 1 was shortly to discover, my popularity had a far wider range than I could ever have imagined in my most ambitious moments.

It was a cold, damp evening in the December of eighty eight. I was sitting in my chambers—not a hundred miles from Holborn —looking over the next day's work, when noticing it was getting near eleven o'clock, I pushed away my papers for the night, and prepared to mix a glass of grog, intending to have a quiet smoke before turning in. Just as I was about to light my pipe, I heard a tap at the door. Wondering who on earth it could be at that time of night, I called " Come in." No one appeared; but, the knocking continuing, 1 went to the door. There was a light in the corridor, but although I looked up it and I looked down it, I couid see no one. Suddenly something brushed against my trousers, and glancing down I saw, hop, hop, hop past me into the room a wooden leg ! nothing else. There, just inside my door a massive mahogany leg stood alone ! Without staying to consider by what means the thing had been introduced into the room, I at once jumped to the conclusion that it was some practical joke of my neighbours in the adjoining chambers. So hastily locking the door, I caught hold of the leg, intending to put it in the fire, but I had scarcely seized, what we will call for courtesy the article's ankle, when it lifted itself up, and gave me such a violent kick or prod right in the pit of the stomach, that I went flying on to my back in the far comer of the room. While, from somewhat in the vicinity of the leg, a deep hoarse voice issued. ' Confound you, sir" ! roared the voice, 'is that the way you treat your clients ' 1 Receiving no reply, for I could not have answered if I would, I had not on ounce of breath in my body, it continued, ' Will you get up and attend to me ? or shall I come and kick you up " ? Seeing the wooden member (for where 1) making a preparatory hop, I managed to rise to my feet, murmur ing, " What—what is it 1 I can't see you.' ' Lower the light,' growled the voice, ' or, rather, put it out ; we shall see one another better then '! This was a largish order, and I natu rally hesitated about taking it ; but, remembering my strong nerves were my pet weakness, and perhaps influenced by an angry shuffle on the part of my visitor, I proceeded to throw- a light upon the subject by turning out the gas. ' That's better,' said an old gentleman, who now appeared upon the scene ; he was standing in rather a lob-sided attitude, tho before-men-tioned leg to which he was attached being apparently a few sizes to small for him. But for all that he was evidently a person —I hardly know whether • person ' is the correct word to use in reference tu my visitor, but at all events there was some personality about his leg, as I can vouch for, so I'll risk it. Well, then, as I was saying, he was evidently a person of no little importance in his own estimation. Dressed in a bygone fashion, with knee breeches, a bottle green coat, and a pervading aspect of electric blue, it cannot be said that he was altogether of a benevolent appearance, in fact . rather otherwise. And certainly not at what shall I say 1 I don't like to call him ' a thing,' so I must slightly alter it, be was certainly not to be trifled with.

' Now, young man ! may I ask you the meaning of the indignity you offered me when I entered the room ' 1 he asked, in a menacing tone.

'I beg your pardon, sir"! I said, trembling slightly, for it was a bitter cold night. 'I did not see who it was, the light rather dazzled my eyes I think.' ' Very likely, very likely,' he replied, in a more mollified tone. ' I was never used to such a glare in my days. Ah ! you talk about your improvements, your higher education, and your family and domestic ties increasing with your greater civilisatl- n. Bosh, sir ! What, I ask, could have been a stronger domestic tie than the good old rushlight 1 drawing perforce into closer relationship the family cirelp, and tightening the bonds of friendship around its beneficent and solitary flame. Picture to yourself the pretty sight of son and daughter disputing as to their turn of sitting next the beloved parent, near whose elbow was placed the simple, yet delightful evening candle. Have you anything like it nowadays 1 No, sir ! Your daring lights have dissolved all that, making children independent of their parents now they are no longer the 'genii of the lamp,' and destroying at one fell blow the whole poetry of home existence ! But mournfully interesting as this subject is to me, it is not what I have come to see you about.' During the foregoing harangue, I had been more intent upon the peculiar phenomenon represented as he sat there than to his remarks. It was a case of touch-and go between him and the chair ; for, as the flame from the fire rose and fell, first an old gentleman, then au empty chair,

appeared to view, with irregular and puzzling precision. But, although I could see through my visitor easily enough, I could by no means make him out, and was glad to hear he was coming to the point. • I am sorry to have to disturb you so late,' he proceeded, quite pleasantly, ' but it is impossible for me to appear—that is, to call upon you during to day. I have heard a very good account of your abilities and honesty that is to say, as far as your profession goes, so I. intend put ting my case into your hands,' 'My dear sar ! I am not a solicitor,' I remonstrated, thinking, I saw a loophole for escape. ' Damme, sir! You are a lawyer, aren't you " ? he cried, viciously, the colour of his face deepening to a stormy sunset. ' I suppose I am,' I said with a faint smile, and 'of course, if you wish, I will do my best,' shivering a littlo as I spoke, for it was very cold.

1 Well, you must know who I am —or as I suppose I shall have to say, was—Sir Nicholas Deveril, of Deveril hall, Downshire. From circumstancee entirely out of my control, I left the place about SO years ago, but I shall get to that presently. Meanwhile, to make you understand my case, I must tell you of the little peculiarity which is- or at least was—hereditary in our family. As you are no doubt aware, most old and distinguished families have some distinctive feature—sometimes red hair, sometimes a prominent nose, or a peculiar cast of countenance, which is handed down from generation to generation. Now with us the distinguishing feature is a wooden leg, of which we have always been very proud, tracing it back for centuries, an early leg, coming over with the Conqueror ; indeed, it is said the founder of the family was born with one, and, knowing what a remarkable race we have been, I see no cause to doubt it.

'No matter when or how the family distinction fell upon me, suffice it to say I was very proud of the fact, and, being a far-seeing individual, I made arrangements for one to accompany me when the necessity should arise. But in this I was thwarted at the last moment by a thieving undertaker's arm, who purloined the new leg I had prepared, and slipped this one worn out years before, into its place. He sadly over-reached himself however, as you shall shortly see. For a period of fifty years this matter did not trouble me, as for reasons which 1 need not explain I did not require it. But when my time came, I found it extremely tiring, not to say awkward, to haunt with one leg shorter than the other. By the way, 1 may as well explode one of your popular errors, by informing you that haunting is one of the few pleasures we enjoy, and by doing so we hurt on one ; in fact, my dear sir, we couldn't if we would !' ' No V said I, remembering the kick and tenderly rubbing tho bottom of my waistcoat. ' You may have noticed,' he went on, ignoring my interruption, ' that I am not one of your lackadaisical, love-lorn ghosts ; none of your gliding sort for me I No, sir ! "to me, and to me alone, belongs the proud title of the ' Wooden Legged Phantom.' As he uttered these words he rose and smote his chest, in what would have been a truly majestic attitude, but, unfortunately, a gassy bit of coal flared up at the moment and dissolved him.

'lt has its drawbacks, I admit,' he continued., resuming his seat, 'as what humours have not? I cannot, for instance, pass through walls and closed doors unless I leave my leg behind me, and sometimes I have been forced to hide in a dark corner, when close pressed, as I cinnot totally disappear. But what are these little inconveniences in comparison to the honour, to say nothing of its effectiveness? I don't have to get a bit of rusty old chain to rattle, or go shrieking about till I am hoarse to let people know I am come. No ; a gentle tap or two with my toe is quite sufficient to upset any well-regulated household- Ah! these little trifles are very enjoyable, I assure you. However, as I daresay you have already guessed,' he proceeded, ' my object in calling here is to get you to have this leg replaced with one of the correct size. And now I will tell you how to set about it. My grandson, who how holds the estates, is Sir Gerald Deveril, a very decent fellow, I believe, though I am sorry to say be is not possessed of a wooden leg ; but all the old families are degenerating, and, I suppose, ours with the rest.' he added, with a sigh. ' Well, I want you to go and see him, and thoroughly explain the matter.' ' Couldn't you see him yourself V I suggested, politely. 'No; it is not to be thought of for a moment. He is one of those spiritualists. I say fool, because J think he is one of the pigeons amongst them, Still, he might be tempted to say he had called me up if I appeared to him. You can see very plainly that would never do ; so you must go and see him, as I say, and tell him the facts of the case. All I want him to do is to get mc a now leg, made two inches longer than this is. Let it be a good strong one, and well-tipped with iron at the toe. He will get

the measurements from the one I have on, which he is to have for his trouble—not a bad bargain for him either and you shall see. Here catch hold," ho said, sticking his timber toe towards me, " unscrew it to your left hand ; I daresay you will find it a bit still. Come ! you are not frightened, arc you V he asked suspiciously. ' Oh, no, not in tho least, only there seems a draught somewhere, and I fancy I must have caught cold,' I replied, as, bracing myself up for the effort I shut my eyes and seized hold. In another moment I had the leg in two halves ; the piece I had possession of was hollow, and contained what appeared to be a roll of old and discoloured bank notes.

' Pull those out, and take one from them,' said my ghost. Do not imagine by calling him ' mine,' I wish to make any personal claim to him. I am simply delighted to be able to call him one now he had mentioned the fact himself. As it may be remembered, I was somewhat at a loss what to term him at first.

Having detached the top note from the roll as requested, the fire being low, I took a step nearer to my visitor, so a.* to get the benefit of the refulgent beams that emanated from his—l can't say body—well, from him. I saw it was one for a hundred pounds, and told him so.

' Well, put it in your pocket, and screw the leg up again ; the remaining notes are for my grandson when he has fulfilled his conditions.'

' Sir Gerald Deverl is in Town, I see by the papers,' I said thanking him. ' But you have not told me where he is to find the leg, and one or two other particulars, which I think will be necessary. For instance, what was the date of your de 1 beg pardon,' I said, seeing he did not appear to like the word, and struck with a happy thought, I I meant to say of your transmutation.'

' The leg will be found in the family vault at Deveril, any day between sunrise and sunset. But if taken away it must be replaced by nightfall, if the other one is not ready. My name you know ; it is cut on the stone in the chapel, with the date eighteen hundred and nine. And now is there anything else you want to know 1 for my time is getting short, and I have a lot to do yet.' ' No, 1 think I shall be able to carry out your wishes, that is, as far as lam concerned. But if you would excuse my inquisitiveness, might I ask how it is you have not seen anyone in reference to the matter before ' 1

1 Because you mortals, as a rule, are such a lot of fools that it has taken me thirty years to find a man strong-minded enough to listen to me ! Any other questions " 1 ' Well, I was wondering,' I said, highly delighted with the compliment, ' how your relatives and ancestors managed to do without their wooden legs ; are they in the same —er —country as yourself ' 1 'Young man, it is time for me to go when T am insulted with personal questions !' he replied, rising with great dignity, and the stormy hue again pervading his countenance.

I expressed my regret as well as I was able, but did not press him to stay.

' ftemember this before I go,' he continued. • I shall make it a point to spend my evenings by your bedside until you have clone your part of the business ! Not to-night, of course,' he added, seeing I did not quite like the idea. I was speculating how he would get out, feeling it was impossible for me to go downstairs and along those bleak passages to open the door, with the cold I had got. But he relieved my mind by saying—- ' I won't trouble you to come down ; (he window will do equally as well for me, if you will open it. I was fortunate to meet someone coming out when I reached the door, and so slipped in.

Having lifted the sash as requested, he mounted a chair, and with a last adieu, to my unspeakable relief, floated gracefully away, I called at the bank next day, and, finding the note all right afterwards looked up Sir Gerald, who, although very incredulous at first, promised to ?ee to the matter. And as I subsequently heard, did so, finding a considerable sum of money in the old leg. I have never had a re'urn of the visit, and hope I never shall, as it is very inconvenient to have clients bothering one at all hours of the night. So I trust the late Sir Nicholas may not, out of gratitude, introduce any of his friends, who are in want of legal advice, to me.