How to help an emotional crisis

Waimarino Bulletin, Volume 6, Issue 270, 17 January 1989, Page 13

How to help an emotional crisis

There are very few people, who escape emotional pain as they .strive for health and happiness.

Things may go fine for years for most people but at some stage problems can arise. They can range from divorce, death of a relative, failing an exam or being burgled. Whatever the degree of crisis few people are totally immune to the hurt and will seek out help. If you find yourself in a position to give emotional first aid all you need is a genuine desire to help and a few simple guide lines. Listen attentively The most important thing in a helping situation is listening. A good listener acts as a sounding board, allowing people to explore their own feelings and come ' to their own conclusions. He does not interrupt, criticise, show impatience, give advice or try to analyse the reasons for a person's feelings. Troubled people mus . be helped to discover for themselves what is

bothering them. If a person is t o o upset to talk or just wants to be left alone, let them know that you are available to listen. It is also important to be an active listener, to acknowledge that you understand by nodding or saying something like, "I see what you mean." Body language is also important - maintain eye contact if culturally appropriate. Don't minimise Disappointments always hurt - no matter how trivial they may seem to other people. The important thing is not to make light o f them or under estimate how anyone in distress feels. Empathise A person who is suffering emotional pain wants to know that other people understand what they are going through and that they care. The clearest way to get the message across is to say something

like, "I have an idea how sad you must feel and I really want t o help." Use touch to show concern The squeeze of a hand or a hug not only shows that you care, it gives the troubled person permission to let . go - to vent emotions instead of bottling them up. Don't try to stop a friend from crying. Strengthen self-esteem People undergoing emotional emergencies need reassurance that they are worthwhile, capable human beings. A good friend can point out all their good points. Respect all confidences When people let their defenses d o w n they trust you not to betray their confidences. You need to make it clear that you respect their feelings and their privacy. When to seek professional help Help should b e sought immediately if:

• A person talks about suicide • You notice a person is regularly confused about time and place • A depressed person starts making preparations as if to leave the world e.g. giving things away

• Depression o r anxiety prevents a person from carrying on every day living for more than a month • A rape has occurred, particularly if it involves a child • You suspect someone may be dangerous, not just angry.