Handling anger creatively

Waimarino Bulletin, Volume 1, Issue 18, 4 October 1983, Page 12

Handling anger creatively

Revd. Te W. Melbourne

How do you resolve anger? Resolving broken relationships is very important. We are reminded by Christ that if we have any conflict with anybody we are to put things right before bringing our gifts to God. (Mark l 1:25) First, if you are angry, determine to resolve your feelings the same day. Second, be honest and admit how you are truly feeling. Third, accept yourself as a normal human being who sometimes has angry feelings. Fourth, express your feelings. Don't lash out and hurt others. Your aim is to 'speak the truth in love'

(Ephesians 4:15). When expressing anger, say exactly how you feel and why you feel this way. When this is done the anger goes away. It is wise not to say. "You make me mad." This is blaming the other person for your reaction and puts him or her on the defensive. It is more helpful to say, "1 need to talk to you about 'such and such'. 1 feel very angry about this. 1 know my anger is my problem and I may be over-reacting, but I do need to share my feelings with you." Feelings of anger can also be expressed in writing as David did in Fsalm 109. One can do this manv times after which one can tear up the piece of paper. Where necessary rewrite those feelings or personally share them with other people. Fifth, before you express your anger. check to see if you are feeling afraid or threatened because anger is often used as a defence against feeling afraid. If fear is the problem. talk about that. Finallv, when you have shared your anger, forgive and forget. If vou nurse resentment, the person it hurts the most is yourself. For physical, emotional and spiritual health we are meant to get all our feelings out in the open where thev can be resolved. This. too, is the way of love, for anger blocks out love. Once feelings of anger are out of the way, love flows again and relationships are restored.