SOME SERVANTS’ BLUNDERS.

Wairoa Bell, Volume 5, Issue 371, 13 November 1896, Page 6

SOME SERVANTS’ BLUNDERS.

A rich merchant, blessed with a good appetite, had taken a real bumpkin into his house, and made him footman One day he asked an 5 honourable’ friend to dinner. The aristocratic friend, who had been making a night of it, was a bit off his feed, and only toyed with the dainties set before them. While waiting for a fresh course the host noticed the footman eagerly wolfing the leavings at the sideboard, and on ordering him out of the room, only received this answer from a well-stuffed mouth : ‘ Lawks, raester, he dunnot poike ’is bones.’ * A lady in tbe last century took a raw country lad as page, and at her first genteel party, after the arrival of a number of guests, a grand knock was heard. The new arrival was a very grand lady of title, in a sedan chair, but the page ordered her off, with these words addressed to her liveried chairmen ;— ‘ Yoe munna come here ; we s throDg to-night. If you’ve gotten a Punch and Judy show in that box, yoe mun goo roon to the back door,’ and slammed the door in their faces. When ordered to bring more plates at supper he said to his mist ress , ‘ Yoe canna hae no more. You’ve daubed ’em a’.’ His mistress had a spaniel with two puppies, and one day told him to bring them up to show a visitor. At length, after sounds of a scuffle and struggle on the stairs, he entered with the two pups on a salver, followed by their proud mother ‘l’ve gotten the twa pups,’ he said ; * but I canna mak’ th’owd dog stay on the tray.’ He bad been ordered to bring everything into the drawing-room on a tray or salver, but the old spaniel would not stand it.