Miscellaneous.

Wairoa Bell, Volume V, Issue 201, 9 June 1893, Page 7

Miscellaneous.

A gentleman ordered for dinner the highest ornament of a woman roasted, the best part of a man fried, and temptation baked in a puff Wbat did the dinner consist of ?—Roast hare (hair), fried sole (seul), and apple tart (temptation in the garden of Eden). ‘lf one could change himself inlo any animal he pleased,’ said a pompous young man, ‘ I think I should prefer to change myself into an ass. ‘ That wouldn’t be much of a change,’ sneered a satirical young lady. A lady was singing at a charity concert and the audience insisted upon hearing her song a second time. Her little daughter was present, and an being asked afterwards how ‘ mamma ’ had sung, replied, 4 Very badly, for they made poor mamma do it ail over again,’ When a lawyer was onee stating his point for the 12th time, the judge interrupted him by saying, ‘ You have made that point eleven times already,’ ‘ True, your honour,’ was the lawyer’s reply, ‘ but there are twelve men on the jury.’ Mrs Smith : ‘ Poor Mrs Siren. They say that she has been ordered to a warmer climate. Do you think she will go?’ Mrs Brown (grimly): ‘No, not while she lives. She was really charming, and seemed to enjoy very much the ‘quail on toast,’ until her pearly teeth struck a couple of shot; then her countenance changed, her expression became wrathy, and she said, * It is too mean to leave those nasty shot in the birds.’ ‘ Why,’ remarked he, ‘ they are good for digestion,’ ‘Yes,’ said she, * that may be, but I don’t want to die jest yet,’ In the North, a shepherd, having sold his sheep at a market, w's asked by the buyer to lend him his dog to take them home. ‘By a’ manner o’ means tak’ Birkie, and when ye’re dune wi’ him, just play so ’ —making a movement with his arm-— < and he’ll be haute in a jiffy,’ Birkie was so clever and useful and gay that the borrower eoveted him ; and on getting to his farm shut h : m up, intending to beep him. Birkie escaped during the night and took the entire flock back to hia own master l If you want to furnish. the best bouse to go to is Garlick and Oran well’s of Auckland They furnish a three roomed house for £l7 10s, a four roomed house for £3B, a five roomed house for £BO, a six roomed house for £l5O. In addition to furniture ; bed linen, blankets, curtains, table cloths, towels, fender and irons and floor covering's, are supplied for the above, for net cash They are large importers of American and Austrian bent wood chairs, iron bedsteads and manufacturers of all other kinds of furniture. Thej import direct from the manufacturers, carpets, linoleum, mattings, Manchester goods and general furnishings. You can get all you want in your home at the most reasonable prices, and can depend on having it well packed. Bedding of all kinds kept ready for delivery.; Wire wov« mattresses made to any size by Garlick and Cranwell, Queen-Street, Auckland, j Advfc.