MISCELLANEOUS.

Wairoa Bell, Volume V, Issue 175, 9 December 1892, Page 6

MISCELLANEOUS.

Reputation is what men and women think of us ; character is what God and angels know of us. A London paper recently offered a prize for the best definition of ‘ Money.’ The prize was awarded to Henry E. Braggs, of Sheffield. His definition was : ‘An article which may be used as a universal passport to everywhere except heaven, and as a universal provider of everything except happiness.’ No man ever sank under the burden of the day. It is when to-morrow’s burden is added to the burden ot today that the weight is more than a man can bear. Never load yourself so. If you find yourself so loaded, at least remember this : it is your doings, not God’s. If a child has swallowed a coin, a bit of slate pencil, or a button, remember never to give it medicine. Feed him on arrowroot gruel, well-boiled porridge, and suchlike food, which will form a coating round the substance and see it safely through the whole intestinal canal. The great thing is not to give a dose of aperient medicine, which is the first thing mothers fly to, and which has proved the death of many unfortunate victims of affectionate ignorance. The beak of of the mosquito is simply a tool box, wherein the mosquito keeps six miniature surgical instruments in perfect working order. Two of these instruments are exact counterparts of the surgeon’s lance, one ia a spear with a double—barred head, the fourth is a needle of exquisite fineness, a saw and a pump going to make up the complement. The spear is the largest of the six tools, and is used for making the initial puncture ; next the lances «r knives are brought into play co cause the blood to flow mere freely. In case the last operation fails of having the desired effect, the saw and the needle are carefully and feelingly inserted in a lateral direction in the victim’s flesh. The pump, the most delicate of all s'x of the instruments, is used in transferring the blood to the insect’s stomach. A travelling husband on arrival atßourke last week, found a wire awaiting him, which read : ‘ During storm Sunday night your wife struck by lightning, rendered speech—less. Not otherwise injured. Doctors think all right in a few days.’ Was the man overcome by this shocking news, and did he fly to her side ? Not a fly ! He simply walked over to the telegraph office and wired in reply ; ‘ Call off the doctors and let her go at that.’ He looked upon the paralysis of his lady’s vocal chord as a blessing sent from Heaven. How hard a struggle ’tis to live, And satisfy our inner cravings ; An actcr may live • on the boards.’ A barber must exist on shavings. And he who kneads our daily bread May need his own some day most sadly, While he who has the cure of souls May, to his boots, want new ones badly. Yet rich or poor, or high or Lw. The end’s the same, to all intents— The beggar lives upon his rags. The millionaire upon his rents, A young lady from out West was filling a bottle with seawater, at Coogee, the other day, to take home for medical purposes, when a cruel joker reminded her that as it was low-water she’d better only half fill it, or, when the tide rose it’d bust her bottle. And the poor creatue arrived back 742 miles west, with only half a bottle of saline cure. ‘ Beautiful silken hair !’ Philip murmured softly, toying gently and lovingly with one of her nut-brown tresses, * Soft as the plumage of an angel’s wing, light as the thistle down that dances on the summer air ; the shimmer of sunset, the glimmer of yellow gold, the rich red-brown of autumnal forest, blend in entrancing beauty in its——-’ Just theu her hair came oft' in his hands and he forgot what to say next. There was a moment of profound silence, and then Aurelia took it from him and went out of the room with it. When Aurelia came back he was gone. The reason a farmer does not like a had storm is because it goes against his grain, One of the latest arrested bank directera is named Allwright. He is alleged to be all wrong. Overheard.—Mr D, Ude : ‘ I’m dead in love.’ Mr D. Andy; ‘ Well, why don’t you marry ?’ ‘ Can’t.’ * Won’t she have you 7 ’ ‘ She ? Who said anything aboutja she 7 It’s myielf I’m in loro with,’