Miscellaneous.

Wairoa Bell, Volume IV, Issue 154, 15 July 1892, Page 6

Miscellaneous.

‘ If I drink porter it makes me fat/ said a man to his neighbour. ‘ I think it sometime! makes you lean—against the wall, as it did last night,’ was the reply. A slow match—Marriage after ten years engagement. How to make both ends meet—Tie ’em together. An Irishman remarked about Scotchmen in Ceylon .- —They never were at home but when they were abroad ; and when they came out to Ceylon they ate. and they drank, and they drank, and they died, and after that they had the audacity to write home and blame the climate. Cremation is the burn from whhh. no traveller returns. It is at the approach of dinner-time that w< feel most sensibly the ‘ emptines of things below.’ Why are Cashmere shawls like deaf people ?—Because you can’t make them here. If a man doesn’t take care of No; 1, he will s ion have 0 to care of ! The largest thing about ladies’ bonnets at the present time is their price. Why is summer like the letter N ?—Because it makes ice nice. An Aberdeen wit says there is no reason why the phonograph should not be called ‘ she-’ It repeats everything. ‘ Surely you must be tired, Aunty, 1 can’t think how it. is you are able to work so long.’ ‘ Bless you, my dear, when I oust sits down to it like, I’m just too lazy to leave off.’