Miscellaneous.

Wairoa Bell, Volume IV, Issue 148, 3 June 1892, Page 6

Miscellaneous.

Elsie : ‘ What reason did Sophy give for refusing you, then ? ’ Tom : ‘ She said she was engaged already.’ Elsie: ‘Oh, that's just like Sophy; always boasting about her conquests,’

1 Pray, sir, bestow charity on a poor widow who is perishing for lack of food. Believe me, sir, I’ve seen better days.’ ‘ So have I madam. This is a miserably wet one.’

It is a small matter to see one’s self in print. Even a housemaid may do that by standing before a looking-glass. Only an ignorant man would fancy that it would be cheaper to have his house built by Free-masons. An ugly old bachelor suggests that births should be published under the head of ‘ new music

A lady whose son was eat. n by cannibals pleasantly remarked that he was killed and buried in the same hour. If a railroad mau was to listen to the railing of a set of sharp-tongued women around a tea-table, he would think it a rare specimen of the T rail. In an action for fees a physician cannot recover. In case of illness the patients are often in the same predicament. A wretch was heard to say the other evening, at a social party- that a young ladyplaying on a pianoforte was like an ape, because her fingers were ’mong keys.

One disconsolate widower erected a monument to the virtues of his departed wife, while another went through the same operation for the departed virtues of his spouse,

In a crowded country Tram.—Fussy old gentleman (angrily) : ‘ I assure you, sir, in London, we shouldn’t allow this overcrowding for a moment. lam from London, sir, and it amazes me !’ Bored youth (languidly) : l Oh —-ah —■ er where is London ?’

Certainly the best medicine known is Sander and Sons Eucalypti Extract. Test its eminently powerful effects on coughs, colds, influenza—the relief is instantaneous. In serious cases, and accidents of all kinds, he they wounds, [burns, soaldings, bruises, sprains, it is the safest remedy—no swelling, no inflammation. Like surprising effects produced in croup, diphtheria, bronchitis, inflammation of the lungs, swellings, etc,; diarrhoea, dysentery, diseases of the kidneys and urinary organs. In use at hospitals and medical clinics all over the globe ; patronised by His Majesty the King of Italy ; crowned with medal and diploma at International Exhibition Amsterdam. Trust in this approved article, and reject all others.