Miscellaneous.

Wairoa Bell, Volume IV, Issue 145, 13 May 1892, Page 6

Miscellaneous.

‘ Teddy, my boy,’ said an Irishman to his nephew, ‘ jist guess how many cheese there is in this here bag, and faith I’ll give you the whole five.’ ‘ Five,’ answered Teddy, ■ Arrah, by my sow], bad luck to the man that tould ye !’ exclaimed the uncle. A traveller inquired of a guide the reason why ‘ echo was always spoken of as ‘ she.’ and was informed that it was because she always had the last word. ‘ Didn’t you guarantee that that horse wouldn’t shy before the discharge of a cannon V said a cavalry,officer to a horsedealer. £ Yes, I did, and I'll stick to it,’ replied the dealer. ! He never shies until after the cannon is fired.’

The Saxons are a very polite people, so over-polite that they not nnfrequently bring down ridicule upon themselves. It used to be told in Dresden that a stranger in the city was one day crossing the great bridge that spans the Elbe, and asked a native to be directed to a certain church which he wished to find. £ Really, my dear sir,’ said the Dresdener, bowing low, £ X grieve greatly to say it, hut 1 cannot tell you,’The stranger passed on, a little suxprised at this voluble answer to a simple question. He had proceeded but a few rods, when he heard footsteps behind him, and, turnin' 77 , saw the same man running to catch up with him. In a moment his pursuer was by his side, his breath nearly gone, but enough left to say, £ My dear sir, you asked me how you could find the church, and it pained me to have to say that I did not know. Just now I met my brother and asked, but I grieve to say that he did not know either,’

Jn extinguishing fire in female dress, whilst applying any large wrap or rug to smother the flames, always remember to gently lay the sufferer down on the floor for it is well known that flames have much less power on a horizontal than on a perpendicular body. This hint should be carried out even whilst wailing for a wrap etc. In bedrooms the hearthrug should never be nailed down or fastened by heavy pieces of furniture, for in case of a fire a hearthrug is an invaluable extinguisher, being thick and large. Everything that one says too much of is insipid and tedious. The blessings which befall us when we least expect them have highest appreciation. There arc some men so useless in the world that they would seem to have been merely born to eat and drink. Plans which are wise and prudent in themselves are rendered vain when the execution of them is carried on negligently and with imprudence. ’Tis a great point in a gallery, how you hang pictures ; and not less in society, how you act your part. When a man meets his accurate mate, society begins and life is delicious,