TIPS FOR PUNTERS.

Wairarapa Age, Volume XXV, Issue 10713, 3 October 1913, Page 3

TIPS FOR PUNTERS.

(By "Wazi Caliph Yussut'," in the Sydney Referee.) My son, give heed unto my wisdom, bend thine ear to my knowledge and understanding before thou doest that which is in thy mind. 1. Many have I seen go forth bravely and with a light heart to march Avith the- great Legion of Punters, but few have I seen return, and those few sick unto death, and carrying withal grievous burdens. 2. For who in all the land can give battle against the Tribe of Books and hope to prevail? 8. Hear mo, now, therefore, 0 Son, and go not forth with tho Punters lest thou mourn at the last, and thy substance dwindkth to nothing. 4. Howbeit, I know well thou art the son of thy father, and of a stubborn generation, doing what seemeth to thee tit, and giving no hoed to the persuasions of the wise. Itather wilt thou mock and say unto thvself in the naughtiness of thy heart, "This Old Man talketh rot." And so, I perceive that thou wilt do this tiling, notwithstanding my tears. 5. When Pay Day cometh, and thy soul feeleth glad as thou jinglest a Few Quid in thy Purse, without' doubt thou wilt say,j "Now shall I go forth and take from the riches of the Book; yea, I will despoil the Tommies." G. Take heed that thou first render to thy landlady that which is hens, that thou settlest with thy dentist, and payest thine insurance money; ftteo neglect not to buy thy season ticket. Then take of fine gold one half talent and lock it in the office drawer" that it may give thee joy when the day of want arriveth. 7. Ring not up thy friends, saying "What know ye?" for I say unto thee that which thy friend knoweth hath already been barked by the dogs in the street. 8. Back not three or four nags in the one race, for should they all lose thou art at once undone, and the bookie waxeth fat Unci prosperous accordingly. . 9. Shouldst thou lose half a talent on the first, double"* bet on the second, or of a surety thou wilt be skinned out before the handicap cometh, and more bitter than the waters of Mara is it to eit in the stand and see a horse thou Anciest win a race when thou canst not back him. 10. Should thy horse win, and thou collectost, say, ten pieces of gold, lose not thy block; neither say unto thyself: "Behold, I have the bookie in the palm of my hand now, will I smite him hip and -thigh, 1 not know a snifter for the next, and will he not be a long shot? Have I not now their money, and will 1 not get 200 to 10 about this outsider? 11. My son, I beseech thee, think well before thou actest, and let not rashness enter info thy doings. Ten pieces of gold in thy purse avail more to thee than jt wo hundred in th« bag of Xeaac, the son of Abraham. 12. In this wise do y© with that which thou hast.won. Place the ten pieces of gold Down South; yea, Button Up on it, and go on as before, for 1 say unto thee, it is better to win a dollar than to just lose a ll thousand pieces of gold. 13. For hast thou never heard a friend lamenting unto another, saying, "Behold, I won two pound on the first, then did I have ten to two on the second winner, and I backed Pot Luck in the handicap and got yet another tenner; but woe is me, I put the lot on Lightning in the last, and was he not just pipped on the post? Verily is my luck dead out, am 1 not indeed stiff?'" 14. Neither borrow nor lend on the course, and though thou mayest know a bookie, take heed that thou bettest not on the nod, for this last has brought many before thee unto Kingstreet—yea, up the spout have they gone, and no man pitieth them. 15. Perchance thou thinkest of a system, and countest thyself subtle and cunning above all men, and plannest with fifty pieces of gold to make a fiver a week. Oh! foolish one; O child of little understanding! Wouldst thou teach thy mother's mother how to suck an egg ? Know, then, that even in the days when the drivers of the chariots of the great Queen raced from Sheba. to Jerusalem were there systems, but to no profit. Systems avail thee nothing when weighed in the balance with luck. 16. And, furthermore, thou canst hope to have luck on thy side against the books' there be three things thou shouldst know, yea, four, that thou shouldst understand. The way of the owner with the horse, the way of the trainer, the way of the jockey likewise, and, lastly, whether the horse can win. Knowing fnese things thou hast at least a chance. 17. Many wilt thou meet who will tell thee the winners. Perchance the ' fair-haired damsel, who poureth out i the wine at the corner near the office, wispereth to thee of a good thing. Mayhap the bu*scher boy knoweth of I a cert. Doth he not say: "Little Jack Homer hath the mount on Sleeper to-day. Him db I know well, for used he not to live next door, Verily, did not his mother and my lady swap dripping over the back fence? 1 saw him this morn, and profit is there? As the grass withereth, as the leaves scatter before he said unto me 'Sleeper can't lose'; but keep it to thyself." 18. Carry not thy friend's money to the course, lest sorrow enter into thy life. For, perchance thou wilt forget to lay the horse, or, peradventure, thou """vTTt. demise it knowing of a better. Should he win then art thou humbled—for what wilt thou say to thy friend when the mom cometh? Either thou goest to the usurer and pledgest the watch thy father gave unto thee, or thou sayetr: Behold, frieSfi. I laid not thy bet for divers reasons. If thou doest this last he will surely turn away, saying: "Lo, I have this day no fuck." but in his heart will be all

manner of bitterness and scoru towards thee, yea, lower than he who stole the blind man's mouey box will he rate thee. 19. Shouldest thou go in the Leger etand not nigh the Paddock fence, lest thou wmildst bo beguiled. When the man of little statute like unto a jockey and witli a cunning countenance conieth near and whispereth to one without the fence, dost not this one gird up his loins and hasten to tho"nearest book? And, behold, a great multitude straightway follow him. Then doth ho ask for Abimlech and passeth on to back Jockabed. But the multitude ,speak in a low voice, the one to the other, saying: "What price Abinilech?" and many back it. Thus are the Gentiles confounded. 20. My son, an thou goest but now and then to watch the sport all may be well. If thou hast a few bob on the favourite each time thou canst not lose much, for is it not written that one in lour doth the favourite win ? 22. Also af"lhe time when thou hast a win thou sayest to thy friends "Lo, I have had a good day. Let us be merry, yea, let us redden up the old town some." In the morn what the reddest wines are their portion, and whence, thinkest thou, are their portion, and whence, thinkest thou, come all these things? Does thou not know? , 21. Above all, consider the bookies of the field how they do. They toil not neither do they graft, yet - no prince in all the land liveth like one of these. The finest cars, the brightest raiment, the richest meats and the best wine, so melt away the gold pieces of a good day. 23. Take heed, therefore, and hearken well urifo the' words of my mouth. When -thou hast a few pounds take It-in haste to the bank and there sock it. For I say unto thee, the odds against the corruption of moth and rust and the breaking of a thief in to steal are a hundred fold more Than that which the bookie giveth thee on an outsider.