GOOD RESOLUTIONS

Wairarapa Age, Volume XXXI, Issue 10713, 14 January 1913, Page 3

GOOD RESOLUTIONS

| FOR THE NEW YEAH. I

(By Josh Billings).

That I won't sinoke enny more cigars only at sum body else's expense. That I won't borry nor lend —especially lend. That I will liv within mia.inkum, if I har tow git trusted tew do it. That I won't advise ennyboddy, until 1 kno the kind ov advice 'they are anxious tew follow . That I won't wear enny more tite boots, if I hav tew go barefoot tew do it. That I won't swear enny, unless I am put under oath. That poverty may be a blessing, /but if it iz, it iz a, blessing in disguise.

That I will tak mi whisky hereafter straight —straight tew the gutter.

That no man shall beat me in politeness, not as long a/ politeness kontinues tew be az chpap az it iz now . That I won't hav enny religious kreed miself, but will respekt everyboddv else's. That if lovely woman «maks me on one cheek, T will turn the other to her also. That if a man kalis me a phool,. T won't ask him to prove it. That I will lead a .moral life, even if T 100-/ a good deal of phun by it. That if a man tells mo a mule won't kik.' T will belenve what he sez without trieing it. That if ennybody loozes even a goose. T will weep with him for it.iz a tuff bi/ness tow looze a goose.

That it' even 1 git a hen that kan lav her keeping one ov the eggs on hand for a sinking nhund. That it iz just az natchral tew be born, riteh az poor, but it iz-.seldum so convenient.

That the best time tew repent ov a blunder iz just befor the blunder is made.

That, T will try hard tew be honest, but it will be jji-st mi darn Ink tew miss it.

That T will love my mother-in-law if it takes all the money I kan earn tew do it.

That I beleave reafly good fritting skarser and skarser every day. That T will respekt myself in doing it.

That when T he-nr a man bragging on hiz ancestor*. T won't envy him, but T will ipity the, ancestors.