ODD STORIES.

Wairarapa Age, Volume XXVIII, Issue 7966, 17 February 1906, Page 7

ODD STORIES.

SHE WISHED H[M TO MARRY HER DAUGHTER. !30b30n: "Vou look all broken up, •old man. What's the,matter?" Grain: "I called oa JVlisa Pruyn -last night, and no aoouei had I entered the parlour than her mothor appeared and demanded to know my ■intentions." "That must have beon rather embarrassing." "Yes; bat that was uot the worst. -Just as the old lady finished 'speaking, Miss Prayn shouted down the stairs: 'Mamma, mamma, he isn't •the one!' " AN INCORRECT EFFIGY. The father of the late Dv George "Macdonald was a successful merchant, who did an extensive business iu oatmeal, and was, moreover, a quaint aberdeeashire oharaoter. His business was flourishing at the time of the anti-Corn Law agitation, and in some way the peoplo got the idea into their head that the millers were storing up corn for sale at famine prices. They decided to mark their disgust •and contempt by burning old Mr Macdonald in effigy, and they were >about to set a light to the figure when the good man himself came -along, hopping on his wooden leg. Stopping to look at the figure, he said, quietly: "Yes, boys, its not at all bad; but •it's a pity you've made the wooden leg the wrong one I" The effigy was not burnt after all. A CRACK SHOT WITH A RIFLE. A Sheffield sportsman, who baa the reputation of being a very bad shot, invited some of his fellows to dine with him. Before dinner he shuwed them a target painted on a barn door, with a bullet right iu the bull's-eye. This he claimed to have shot at 500 yards distance. As nobody believed him be offered to bet the price of an •oyster supper on it, and, on one of the guests accepting . the wager, lie produced two witnesses, whose veracity oould not be doubted, to prove his assertion. Since they both stated that he had done what he claimed, he won his wager. Daring dinner the loser of the bet •inquired how the host had managed to fire auoh at excellent shot. The host answered: "Well, 1 shot the bullet at the door at a distanoe of 500 yards, and then painted the target round it." DURING THE REIGN OF QUEEN f ANNE. . An English soldier was onoe sentenced to death by court martial for desertion. The colonel of his regiment being absent, the execution was committed to a certain major. He, with fiendish ingenuity, decided that the condemned man's brother should be the executioner. It was in vain that the brothers pleaded, in vain the tryant's junior officers •aided their petitions. The appointed hour came,*' and the soldier was led. •out to die by hie brother's hand. The major gave the word of mand,and the exeoutioner loaded his piece, presented, and fired, and shot •dead—the major. Half of England was exoited by .the story, and the €rowu 'was petitioned for the reprieve of the murderer. Queen Anne considered the circumstances so extraordinary that she acceded to the petition, and received in return addresses of thanks from her subjects. THE GREAT AMERICAN GIRL. Three American tourists—two girls and their father—some years ago visited Mr Rudyard Kipling. The novelist was at work when he was surprised by their sudden entrance. The hall porter had strict orders to admit no one, yet there they were. They had eluded the • porter's vigilance They were Yankees. "Are you Mr Rudyard Kipling?' * queried the old gentleman. "Yes." "Girls, this is Mr Rudyard Kipling." "Ob, pa!" "Is this where you work, Mr Rudyard Kioling?" "Yes." "Girls, this is where Mr Rudyard > Kipling works." "Oh, pa!" They then proceeded to examine the room, admire the magnificent tiger skin, express astonishment at the hundred or so pipes' on the mantelpiece, and so forth. Finally they took their leave; and the last words Mr Kipling heard as they went •through the garden gate were, "Oh, pa!"