HOW I GOT OUT OF THE CROMWELL RACES.

Tuapeka Times, Volume VI, Issue 298, 16 October 1873, Page 8

HOW I GOT OUT OF THE CROMWELL RACES .

Mr. Editor, — I am sure you will be wonderfully surprised to think I have summoned up courage to put myself in communication with your newspaper. Very seldom 'such an idea ever enters my crauiura, but on this particular occasion I want to inform you and other friends how myself and mate Watty got on at the late Cromwell Spring Baces. I was very nearly got at ; I will tell how by-and-by. The day was beautiful, and I dropped across several old friends I have not seen for years, and there is no mistake about it but that "Watty and I enjoyed ourselves " up to the handle." Whoever the handicapper was, his judgment about the running powers of the various nags entrusted to his. care was good, because all the events were well contested throughout. I went into several sweeps ; but, as horsey men will call it, my luck was dead out. I either drew blanks or Taffrail ; but lam pleased to inform you that Watty was more fortunate in his ventures. He collared iust about enough to square our bill with Mrs. Herron ; so upon the whole we did not so bad. 'About 3 o'clock, myself and "Watty went on to the grand stand ; and we had been seated only a few minutes when Mr. Joss asked me to go into a sweep, which I at once agreed to. There was Mr. Kivpra and several other gentlemen in it. So I was just sitting chaffing away, waiting till the tickets were arranged for drawing, when Watty tapped me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, "Do you see that gentleman who just drove up in front of the stand, with the little, fancy piebald pony and yellow buggy]" " Yes," I replied, " and a nice turn-out it is. I wonder if it is for sale." Watty remarked "He did not know. However, draw your sweep and we will £0 and enquire. If ib can be bought cheap, it would do fine to take a drive as f«r a* Mrs. Madman's on a Sunday." Watty said I knew the value of these these things better than him, to go straight forward and ask the man if the turn-out was in the market. I consented, and looked over the buggy arid pony, and at once came to the conclusion it was the exact thing we required. The gentleman in possession had glassef on, and^is face betokened somewhat of a cadaverous, care-worn look. However, I went forward and saluted him with the usual " Good-day, sir," and he responded in a remarkably homely tone of voice. I further tnquired if the turn-out was for sale, when he ac once replied in the affirmative that it was, and I could have the lot very cheap. At this juncture Billy Burns came up and called me to one side, and rather abruptly inquired what business I was after to-day. Somewhat reluctantly I told him I wanted to purchase that buggy and piebald pony. Billy kindled up in a rage, and expressed himself in language not altogether Parliamentary, " That ho could see I was easily got at on a racecourse. Don't you know who that man is who wants to plant the turn-out on you 1 Why you must be a soft cake. That is the old horse painter from the Dunstan. It is not a real piebald at all. He has just painted Mm that color for the occasiou, and brought him up here during the racing excitement, thinking some of us might be muddled with Sirs, Herron's fizz, and through his artistic skill he would then have a chance of duping some of us diggers." " JJo you really mean that, Billy 1" " Mean it 1 of course I do ; and I am not astonished at the swindle. He is one of the most active and witty Dunstan Councillors ; and. you must be aware they are always scheming how to warm Cromwellites in money matters, and this is just a proof of it. Our Chief Magistrate of Cromwell was just telling me to-day that he cannot hit it any longer with the Dunstan people, through their selfishness about Government grants ; that he has bought Mr. M'Baath's business in Tuapek£ and is goin<j to leave the district in disgust." I then went and fossicked out Watty in the crowd, and related to him the interview I had with Billy Burns. I just told him the truth, and advised him to go at once and passhis judgment upon the pony, whether he considered him a real piebald or not. A few minutes had only elapsed, when Watty returned with clenched fists and fiery eyes, bawling at the top of his voioe, " We have been nearly got ac, John. It is not a pony at all , nothing else but a painted ' cuddy,' The same one that Jonny Cox and Dick Lancaster had the barney about some time ago at Alexandra. He has foxed his ears, spliced a pany*s tail on to him, and really made a good saleable job. So you can see now that is the reason so many of the Dunstan folks are here to-day— not to see our races, but to enjoy their own well schemed joke." " Sell a cuddy for a pony , but they bave not caught us napping this time. You are right, Watty ; so we had better leave for home, and have our te,a at-~rM,rs. ferriam's." — Yours