PERAMBULATORS.

Tuapeka Times, Volume VI, Issue 290, 21 August 1873, Page 6

PERAMBULATORS.

"Snyder " in the "Auckland Weekly Herald " writes thus of perambulators: I don't like children, and that is why I do have such an attachment for perambulators. They kill off more of the infant population in the same time than were the number of slain during the Franco-Prussian war. If I had a child that I didn't care for, 1 should buy a perambulator, and hire a lazy nurse-girl. I should have the child put inside of the machine, and direct the maid to trundle along the thoroughfares where there were the largest number of drapers' shops for her to stop and stare at. T should see that the child was naked from its ancles to well above its knees, and that it had no covering to its arms and neck. Then I should toll the girl to take the little kidling out at II o'clock in the morning and bring it back at dinnertime. This would be the means ' of chilling its blood, and after a few trials would produce lung disease, inflammation of the chest, or diarrhoea, or something of the kind, and I know I should save the expense of that child's education, to say nothing of the cost for boots and nourishment. It's a splendid receipt for nipping infant life in the bud. A doctor tells me, and he knows a thing or two, does that skilled man, that perambulators, as used in Auckland, are worth to him as much as finds his wife in dressea of the latest fashion, pays the expenses of house keep, and enables him to maintain in bis establishment a boy in buttons to

open the door. If any one wants to kill a child he, or she, as the case may happen, needn't mind about the time of year. Winter perambulating will cai ry off anything from six months to- four years with one disease, and summer with another. It may be calculated on that a properly perambulated child during the dog-days will go off by sunstoke, brain fever, or in a fit. Perambulators are to the medical profession what scoria footpaths are to bootmakers, no end of means of making money.