THE SPIRITS OUTDONE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume VI, Issue 284, 10 July 1873, Page 11

THE SPIRITS OUTDONE.

The London correspondent of the Birmingham Post writes as follows :— If any devout Spiritists previil in the Midlands, they should make n pilgrimage at once to the Crystal Palace, at Sydenham. Thore are to mediums there, Mr. Maskelene and Mr. Cooke, who have great qualifications for astounding them. They greatly surpass the Davenport Brothers. They make tables dance, walkings-sticks converse, wreaths of flowers float through the air and present themselves to favorites of the spirits ; a lady floats in the air — not in a dark seance but in the open daylight . The audience are not required to sit round in tho dark, holding each other's hands, like so many idiots; but sit at liberty, with powerful operaglasses in their hands, are invited on the stage, and sit there during the performances — ' manifestations' lought to say. A cabinet is placed bsfore the audience, elevated, so that persons can see under it, and over it, and on both sides of it, and incredulous auditors are permitted on the stage, who can watch behind it. The floor below it is covered with a carpet, which renders the use of a trap-door impossible, and there are no conceivable means by which pcrsous placed iv the box could ! escape from it without obserrafciou ; yet a uiiiu enters the box, his legs are | locked in heavy wood stocks : when the door is opened the man is gone, and no one can conceive in what way he has disappeared. He returns to his box in the garb of a gorilla, manifesting Satanic proclivities. He succeeds in dragging into his cabinet one Kill Bull, a butcher, and both gorilla and butcher are gone when, the door is opened ; and, although a distinguished Spiritist was allowed to be on the stage, and a very incredulous and suspicious gentleman from the body of the meeting, yet neither could discover how the disappearances came about. Whether the gorilla ate tho butcher, or whether the butcher ate the gorilla, or whether both ate each other, nobody was ablo to say, or to suggest in what possible manner they could have disappeared. The Maskelene and Cooke spirits excel all others that have ever troubled the world before. The Davenport Brothers were always found in their cabinet. They were like spirits who had lost their legs, they never could get away. But tliese spirits disappear with velocity. For a long time the Spiritists have been, so they say, getting the better of this world ; but now the children of this world have got the better of the spirits. Mr. Maskelene and Mr. Cooke play Spiritist pranks which no Cock Lane Ghost could pretend to, and which would have brought Dr. Johnson down upon his knees in wonder and adoration. Two centuries ago the end of Messrs Maskelene and Cooke would have been fire and faggot.

" Friend Jenkins came to tub yesterday, and bewailed in most piteous terms his hard lot. He had been worked to the verge of dissolution by meetings, meetings ! He had toiled and toiled at no less than a dozen of these blessed gatherings within a single week. He assured me that he had 1 meetings' on the brain, and affirmed j that the good folk of Grreymouth had been smitten with a terrible mania for assembling to discuss every conceivable subject. By-the-way, why don't the newspapers report all the speakers at full length ? I made an oration the other night that rivalled the loftiest efforts of Demosthenes, and eclipsed the n«.ost splended conflagration of Cicero, and it was condensed into half-a-dozen lines! My acquaintance., Flipkins, too, has been served in precisely the same manner by these unconscionable organs. My advice is, that still another meeting should be called. An iudignation meeting, at which the Press should be told a piece of our mind. — Diogenes in the " Grrey River Argus.' For the Handicap Steeplechase at Bcndigo, on the 29th ultimo, Mr. J. Walker's Marquis of Lome was the favorite, but just previous to the start he was " peppered" heavily, and consequently went down in the betting. The horse, however, led from the start, and must have won, but that he was pulled at the last turn, and the race wa3 taken by Horizon. The rider of the Marquis of Lome was hissed on coming to weigh, and owner, rider, and horso were disqualified for ever. The following are a Quaker printer's proverbs: — Never send thou an article for publication without giving the editor thy name for thy name oftentimes secures publication. Never do thou loaf about a printing office, ask no questions, or knock down type, or the boys will love you as they do shade trees — when thou leaveth. Thou shouldst not read the copy on the printers case, or the composer thereof may knock thee down. Never inquire thou of the editor for news, for behold it is his business at the appointed time to give it to thee without asking. It is not right that thou shouldst ask him who is the author of an article, for it is his duty to keep such things unto himself. When thou dost enter his office, take heed that thou dost not; look at what may be lying open and concerneth thee not, for that it is not meet in the sight of good breeding. Neither examine thou the proof sheet for it is not ready to meet, thine eye that thou mayest understand.