SPECIMENS OF ADVERTISING.

Tuapeka Times, Volume VI, Issue 279, 5 June 1873, Page 7

SPECIMENS OF ADVERTISING.

This is how our American Cousins fetch the gentle public :—: — Consumption, a Jung disease, has hitherto beeu supposed to defy the skill of the whole medical fraternity ; but now such is not the case. One of our eminent physicians not long ago had a case of the worst description to deal with. His remedy was simple and efficacious, he simply ordered the patient a wine-glass of Cutter's whiskey five times a day, and recommend him to get it at Hotaliugs, in Jackson street, below Montgomery, to insure purity. The patient is now a hale and hearty man, and swears by Cutter's whiskey. The loftiest pine is oftenest shaken by the winds, high towers fall to the earth with a heavy crash, and lightning strikes the summit of the mountains, but this rule does not apply to everything. You cannot get too good furniture, or too substantial, as long, of course, as you combine elegance with durability. To do so, you will have to go to one place, and one place only — that is, IS". P. Cole's large warehouse, next the Mercantile Library, on Bush street. "Don't cut me up in that style," This exclamation, to our utter amazement and horror, came from a joint of beef we were carving, or rather trying to carve: the wife fainted, the children Gcreamed, and, we — well, we bolted. Our family carver was just a little blunt; since then we have purchased a set" of carvers, &c, of M. Price, 416 Kearney street. Our joints now hold their peace, and the family circle is once more happy. A New York monitor asked a pupil of his the meaning of the scriptural phrase "The wages of sin are death." The boy exhibited an ignorance that was truly deplorable — he did not know what wages wore, and was asked wh.it his father got on Saturday night. <: Drunk!" was the answer. Such would not have been the case had the further stuck to Gerke "Wine, which "cheers, but does not inebriate," unless taken in inordinate quantities, and even then " death is robbed off its still":," as no headaches onuses. Did you ever know an Irish servant that hadn't v dozen cousins? A friend of ours says that he once forbade them his kitchen, but it waa of no use ; they came, and when he came they were hid away. His kitchen chimney smoked one day ; he knew not wherefore : he knows now. He says a. kitchen chimney will smoke when there is n journeyn.au baker up the nue. Tins seems reason ible, and we believe him ; but when ho said that he did not use Donnelly's yeast powder, made afc 3 1.5 Clay street, we pitied him and doubted his tsanenesa.