FACETIAE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume V, Issue 250, 14 November 1872, Page 9

FACETIAE.

Can a man be upright in doing good, if -he is bent on doing it ? The only man not spoiled by being " lionised " was the prophet Daniel. Is it safe to allow the circulation of papers that contain small-pox items ? Why does the washing come home on a Saturday I—Because1 — Because it's the close (clothes) of the week. . " In what way does a lady treat a man like a telescope ?— When she pulls him *mt, looks him through, and then shuts tiro up. An Illinois minister reproved a party of ladies who were playing cards in a ichurch by some timely remarks regarding the last trump. An Illinois clergyman forbids any further .contributions under five cents. He says .;— " The widow's mite business is flayed out here." A girl m -Cincinnati advertises for Boinekody to love her, and^says she will give him 200 dega. if he will do it in a virtuous and gentle naasiner. JTusband-seajUng has been inaugurated in Adair County by a Mrs Alexander, wfeo recenfly offered to "swap" her better half iw sewing machine. Apt old ■gentlenwa from the country, stoppfog a* a firstrate hotel .in Yew York, swrote&Lome that hiu^oom vrasjsix storeys high, *«d his bill was *fck*ee storeys higher than his f©oi». .1 .rural poet, in deserfbwag his ladylove gays.?— **&>* is as gracef ul:a«>a water-Jily, while 'her breath smells like an .armful of clover. " Hii ease is cerjaialy approaching