ENLISTING A LAWYER.

Tuapeka Times, Volume V, Issue 249, 7 November 1872, Page 5

ENLISTING A LAWYER.

Well, mind now, for this is as true as the Gcspel. It was ou the 11th of May, 1820, I 'lifted a recruit iii Dublin, and put the question to h in, gave him the shilling, and walktd him to the barracks as fine as a fiddle. Well, in a few days he was claimed as a 'prentice, and so be was had up before the mayor, and he oommitted him for trial. Well, at the following 'sizes I was called as a witness, and the lawyer that defended him told me that I did not ! li3t him. " T did," says I. " Did you put the question to him rightly ?'" says he. "I did, >f says I. "By the virtue of yer oath, now," says he, " just ax me the qiiestion, for I don't believe you ay'd him." — ilow do you know?" says I, for by this and by that you Veren't by."— "None of your business," says he; and he held out his hand, and acpordingly % pulled out half-a-crpwn and clapped it m his fist, and then I asked him the questions, and he said "yes" to them ajl. " Were these the same questions you put to the pris )ner ?" says he. " Yes, they wei'* f " says I. "Well, here's yer ha) f -cro wn back for ye, " says he. "I can't take it, sir," s.ays I. " Why not ?" says he. " Why nqt?" says I j " why sure I can't take it back till ye go before a magistrate and pay the 'smarf; money.' " — "You be hanged," says he, aud he put the money in his pocket, and I called to his Lordship on the bench for a witness that I had 'listed him. And oh, holy Biddy, but there was a roar in the court ! Begorra, the judge laughed till the tears ran 4«wn hw face. Welj, th e decision of the court being in my favor, I axed the judge if I might take away my new recruit. And they all roared again, and the counsellor got as red as a turkey cock, and as mad as a bull with the cholic j at last he made the best h e could ay it, aud says Ito the counsellor, says I, " Don't 'list iv the line next time, sir." "What then!" sayis he, snappishly. "Oh, yer 'oner," says I, " stick to the rifles } that's more in your way." Well, begorra, when I told the major I thought he'd die, and when he'd done laughin' he bid me keep the "smart mouey " for myself. — Irish humor.