FACETIAE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume V, Issue 248, 31 October 1872, Page 9

FACETIAE.

Member of the force : " There's no smoking allowed hers, sir." Citizen of Glasgow : " Man, I'm richt gled o' that, for I've nae tabawky !"

A youth of Franklin, 0., calculates that during the past five years he has walked 13,250 miles in visiting the maiden upon whom his affections are centred.

A party of Havard students on the rampage recently had the pleasure of making up a purse of 125 dols. for the benefit of the police court next morning.

There is one "righf'on which, thank Heaven ! a woman cannot entrench ; 'tis the glorious boyish privilege of standing on your head and turning' summersaults.

A young lady, lately graduate.' l , from a Massachusetts school, say's, , K Esop was the author of the latin tables, covered with hair, and sold his birthright for a mess of potash."

"Our Jim, who has been studying politics since Gxeely's nomination, says that when Senator Sunnier got up to. make' his great speech against Grant, it reminded him of "the last rose of sumner."

A' female correspondent of a western paper is astonished and delighted to learn that the Prince of Wales hands his wife into her carriage and " carefully tucks in her petticoats" just like " any other " old married man. A number of Green ville, Ala., ladies have signed the following: — "We, the undersigned, do promise hereby that we will faithfully abstain 'from the use of tobacco in any shape, form, or manner while in church."

A young lady of Mobile, who has lately been much annoyed by young men singling under her window, "If ever I cease 1 to love," says they'll confer a favour on her by stopping their foolishness, arid coming inside and " talking business."

Chicago ."helps" are having good times — an employment agency in that city advertises for any number of girls to fill situations in families, wages from 3 dols. to 10 dois. a week, and carriages at the door waiting to take them to their places.