JOSH BILLINGS ON THINGS.

Tuapeka Times, Volume V, Issue 242, 19 September 1872, Page 9

JOSH BILLINGS ON THINGS.

Fust impreshuns are sed tew , be lasting: Euny man who has only been stung T)i a hornet once will aware to this. The safest way for most folks tew do iz to do az the rest do. There ain't but phew who kan navigate without a kompass. A wise man is never kpnfounded bi what he don't understand, but a phool generally iz. Tung man, don't grind your scythe oil on one side. Politeness is often wasted, but it is a good and cheap mistake to make. •- Oup very best thoughts often cum tew us. sudden; seldom perfekt. They require polishing up to make them koinplete. ' Do a good turn, yung man, whever yu kan, even if yu have to turn a grindstun to do it. Repentance iz generally konsidered a weakness, but I kno of nothing more indikative of, strength. Human know-

ledge is not very komprehensive after all, for I have seen men who could kalkulate an eklips to a dot, who couldn't harness a hoss tew save their lives. Every boddy in this world, but none .more than ourselves. .Cunning iz very apt tew outwit itself. '* The man who furn'd the boat over and got under it tew keep out of the rain, waz one ov this/kind. Vanity is a strange pasbiin — rather than be out ov a job ? it. will brag ov its vices. All phools are ,poor listeners. About all it takes to make a wise man iz to give other people's opinyuns as mutch weight rs we do our own. Flattery iz like. ice ? cream — to relish good we wantfit'a little at .a, time, and often. The moreyu praze a irian who don't "deservje it, the more yu abuse him 1 . Til kant natter a. truly wise man — he he knows just how much praze' iz due him; I that' he takes, and charges over the' balance to the profit and loss account. ; - ■ • ' '

Debititafced Constitutions, Disordered >~ Li Ver, Bile, and " Indigestion, cured by Solloway's Pills.— The eood effects prVdu'ced^y this salutary medij,cine, l .are ! really^ extraordinary; 'a,nci sgeqfc volumes in favour, of its, . excjel; lence'in the cure of impaired digestion, bile, diseases of 'the liver and chest: The benefits derived from the use of Hollpway/s. Pfils in these rcomplaints are permanent, as the whole, system is completely renovated, by inducing a healthy action of the lively strengthen! ing the organs of digestion, and prol >'moibing rj a free respiration. 1 °'t*erafofas suffering from nny of these dJHordo'rs should'itnm'ediateiy 'h'a\'e recourse t<i this eßtab^hed ;reracdy, „tp ensure a WfiKtf- «s#, .atM,«fie64jr' euro. ,"' „ T "' A' £hikdelph|A.>,gjd, artyo inarripd -an ol<ini»a,fortj(,3few»pf ago, e^gerting t6 be left a,;pchwid^w .^n^t^ifajf^i^diwj rec^tly, yfm± §fty-»«f , .leav^-ier,***, ootiaolate husband, aged one hundred, to -mourn her loss.