JOSH BILLINGS INSURES HIS LTFE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume V, Issue 231, 4 July 1872, Page 8

JOSH BILLINGS INSURES HIS LTFE.

I kum few the conclusion lately that life whs so uncertin that the only wa for me to stand a fair chance with other folks wus to get my life insui-ecl,' and so I called on the agent of the Garden Angel Life Insurance Co., and answered the following questions which were put to me over the top ov a pair ov goold specks, by a slick,- little, 'fat, old feller, with a round gray head, and az pretty a little belly az enny man ever owned.

QyESTIONS :

1. Are you male or female 1 If so, state how long you have been'so.

2. Are you subject to fits, and if so, do you have them more than one at n time 1

3. What is your precise fiteing weight 1

4. Did you ever have enny ancestors, and i/ so, how many ? .5. What iz yure legal opinion ov the constitutionality of the 10 commandments 1

6. Dv yu ever have enny nitemare 1 7. Are yu mairied, and live single, or are you a batchlor ? 8. Dv yu believe in a future state ? If yu dv, state it.

9. What are yure private sentiments about a ' rush ov rats to the head — can it be did successfully 1

10. Have yu eVer committed suicide, and if so, how dus it seem to aftect yu 1 ? 11. Did yu ever hay the meezles, if so, how many ?

After answering the above questions like a man, on the confirmative, the slick, fat, old feller, with goold specks on, ced I was insured for life, and probably would remain so for a term ov years. I thanked him, and smiled one ov my most pensive smiles.