FACETIÆ.

Tuapeka Times, Volume V, Issue 229, 20 June 1872, Page 9

FACETIÆ.

A Vein Pursuit. — Mining. A Capital Letter. — One containing a remittance. The last glass before going to bed. — The looking-glass. A bat that frequently flies in the daytime. — A brick-bat. Volunteer work for April. — To review the March Past. A New York lady says the latest thing out is— her husband. What is that which is black, white, and raad all over? — A newspaper. A bad marriage is like an electricmachine : it makes you dance, bat you can't let it go. An Italian newspaper laments that, after the liberal subscriptions made there for a monument to Garibaldi, that agitator will not take the hint. A Chicago journal considers the destruction of about a cartload of "original poetry " in its office as the most gratifying feature of the fire. Con. — Why are good women like ivy 1 — Because the greater the ruin the closer they cling. Why are bad women like ivy ? — Because the closer they cling the greater the ruin. A gentleman having a pony that started aud broke Ms wife's neck, a neighbour told him that he wished to purchase it for his wife to ride upon. "No," says the "other, I will not sell the little fellow, because I intend to marry again." Chicago is in mourning because Ciucinati has fifty-seven divorce, cases on the docket, while poor Chicago has only forty. But Chicago lias been at it so long she wili have to divorce some couples a second tjme to keen ahsad of Cincinnati,