FOURTEENMILE BEACH.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 192, 12 October 1871, Page 7

FOURTEENMILE BEACH.

(From our- own .Correspondent.)

September 30th, 1871.

I should have enlightened you long ago as to the progress, both morally and socially, we have made in this quarter; but, owing to the severe dressing the Molyneux has given us this season, and the sufferings from influenza we have endured, we cannot boast of the Mem sana in conipore sano. ■ Our pockets being empty, and heads "stuffed to a very disagreeable extent, renders our position a not very enviable one ; but ne cede malis. You see I am quoting what is not my own, thereby following-many illustrious examples. And now for the news.

You may remember, in my last t° you, having mentioned old Pumper nickle's adventure at the Roxburgh Oddfellows' fete. Now it is only by the greatest finessing that I can manage to get at him for his views upon the various matters of public interest — such as Vogel's Financial Statement, the last gigantic public land sale and swindle, the Chinese question, &c, &c. However, I must wait until the old man is in better humour, when I hope in my next letter to give you his sentiments on the above mentioned subjects. I know the old fellow is terribly cut up about } our mythical Coal Creek correspondent's letters. He says your correspondent from C. C. must have a great deal of the Indian in his composition, from the facile and expert manner in which (like his Sioux brethren) he throws the hatchet. When a man writes about his neighbours, he should at least ask their consent before publishing their names (not that we are ashamed of onrs) ; but I think we are quite capable of letting the world know how we are progressing without the aid of your C. C. C. at the bellows ; and although many persons may feel pleased at having their districts and occupations " blown up," still it is not always a wise move, as it has often been proved that a person's avocations may be more multifarious than profitable ; while at the same time the mode of writing indulged in by your C 0. C, without the slightest regard to truth, neither adds to his dignity, nor to the circulation of your paper. " 'Tis the same all tbe world over." says Pumpernickle. "Even the innocent are not exempted from the rabid persecutions of certain scribblers in this district. Look at my case — the holiest and best feelings trifled with ; and I am supposed to carry my heart on my coat sleeves for grinning daws to peck at ; but I bide my time — it will be my turn next."

On my last visit to the Teviot, T experienced two very great pleasures ; in fact, T have marked that day with a white stone, as we have so very few causes for happiness ; and our red letter days are so far apart, that I cannot help mentioning the circumstances. The-first was the meeting with one of the Pilgrim Fathers of Tuapeka. Oh ! how my youthful days floated before my mental vision at sight of those hoary locks, and tail shirt collar, and when he grasped mv hand, and patted me on the head, again did reminiscences of my childhood spring up before me. Again I heard the deep toned exhortation to eschew; more than five whiskys before breakfast. Tears trembled on my eyelids as he called forth the recollections of what I was and what I am.Joy sprang to my lips when, in tones I so dearly loved to hear, he gave me his views on the state of the country, and the price of sheepskins. Ah ! great and good and worthy sire of a great idea, not many more opportunities may I have of tasting the fleeting happiness I enjoyed whilst with thee. — Vale, vale.

(N\B — The above "Touch of Nature " was engendered through an overdose of Cargill and Anderson's ewe mutton.)

The unlooked for pleasure of having witnessed for the* first time a gathering of the Clans more than compensates for the severe attack of influenza I am suffering from in consequence, for • While clamorous war pipes -yelled the gathering sound. And while the Fiery Cross glanced like a meteor round. Yes, tfc was my lob to witness such a gathering of the Clan Mac, that I imagined I stood

Once more upon my native heath. They came from all quarters, and the muster was so general, and at the same time so unexpected, that the price of whisky was unprecedented in the Teviot. Both biped and quadruped' are suffering from the influx ; and men sneeze, and cows bellow, in the Celtic vernacular ever since. The poor Sasenach had to retire to his most {n fear and trembling, whilst the lordly Gracl — with " open front and bearing free " — took possession of the streets of Roxburgh. The Clan Mac. was met with hearty aud loud greeting by the Clan Cameron. After rubbing noses, and cementing old friendships, a korero was announced, interspersed with songs, strathspeys, &c\,' only there was no pipes. This difficulty was'surmounted by Cameron's henchman improvising a pigskin pibroch for the occasion. All went " merry as a marriage peal '■ until Mac's henchman, the " Dismal One," proposed to do the sword dance without his kilts,and in his trews, and- although they pinched tic tail of the pipes, and

squeezed him as flat as one of Mervyn's speeches, they could not get, a out of^him, owing to the "Dismal One " having offered him a pinch of snuff, and thereby frightened all the music out of htm. • Long will that great day be remembered by the denizens of Beuger capital, and even at this moment we I are encumbered with the feeling that Mac. and his followers are ready to spring up. Instant through copse and heath arose Bonnets anil spears, and bended bows ; On right, on left, above, below.

Sprang up ab once the lurking foe.

This idea was so impressed upon the Cameron, that in the language of Fitz-James he shouted, Come one, come all, this rock shall fly From it's firm base as soon as I. While supposing the enemy was upon him, he made a frantic effort to draw the handle of his grindstone (mistaking it for bis claymore), thereby bringing himself and that very useful ia.plement to grief at the same time, very much to the relief of sundry individuals, who will at least, through this mishap, have the satisfaction of knowing that their nasal appendages and. that rotatory instrument of torture will not be. so closely acquainted for some time to come as they have been. However, the Cameron's dream was rudely interrupted by his henchman, who, laughing and shaking him, ex-

claimed, " Tarn, chiel, what the deils

wrang wi' ye," brought Tarn to his

senses, and thus ended the " Eaid of the Macs."