F A C E T I Æ .

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 189, 21 September 1871, Page 7

FACE T I Æ .

Borrowing a dollar from tlie old woman to buy provisions, and then bringing homd ten cents' worth of tea. and ninety cents' worth of tobacco is mean. This is especially so if the old women don't sjioke. /.They tell of a spring in Michigan so strongly magnetic that a man who had drank from it and -went into a blacksmith's shop, found the anvil on which he gat stuck fast to him, and he had to have it amputated. ,The following announcement lately appeared in » New York paper : — Edward Eden, painter, is requested to communicate with his brother, when he will hear of something to -his advantage — his wife is dead. A dutiful son in Detroit has killed sixty-seven of his neighbours' cats to get money to buy his mother a set of false teeth. He has made a quiet neighbourhood where once was a howling wilder-, ness, and the old woman can now eat heartily. "Come, Bob, get up," said an indulgent father to his hopeful son the other morning. " Remember,' it is the early bird that catches the early worm.'*- "What do I care for worms 1" replied the young hopeful. " Mother won't let me go afishing."

Two coloured gentlemen playing billiards quarrelled. One hit the other over the head with the . butt end of the cue, which made the splinters fly, whereupon the assailed darkey paused to remark, "INow, Sam, stop and let's reason dis yeretinga littje,"