MISCELLANEOUS.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 185, 24 August 1871, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

An Extraoedinaet Baby. — It appears that at Mount G-ilead, Ohio, there is a baby of a pattern which in naval architecture is called a doubleender, that is, either end is the head, according to circumstances — like the Oakland ferryboat. This double baby yelps at will with either end, or both ends, with the utmost impartiality. Spoon-victuals are destroyed as readily with one mouth as .with the other. When it shall have acquired the requisite age it may hold an animated conversation with itself, across the intervening abdomen which it enjoys in common. There is a few rudimentary legs about the point of junction, but these are to be trimmed away, and the 4 angel will then present the exact appearance of two babies sundered at the waist and their upper sections stuck together with' glue. There is some difficulty in lodging it ; when one head is reposing peacefully upon the pillow, the other is yowling savagely and raising the doose's own delight, stifled in the centre of the bed. To obviate this we suggest that the innocent should be parted at the middle and slung upon a gate binge. It could then be folded up like a lemonsqueezer, and get both its heads on the pillow at once. It is a very intelligent young one, but is likely to prove a stumbling block to the church on account of the difficulty- of determining if one heart is responsible for itue wickedness of the other, if it has two souls, if ifc must repent separately or in concert, and, in case it does neither, if it must be jointly, or severally damned. — Fan Francisco " News Letter."

In London, every eight minutes, night and day, somebody dies, and every five minutes a child is born. This great city contains as many people as the whole of Scotland, twice as many as Denmark, three times as many as Grreec;, and four hundred times as many as G-eorgetown, D.C. In its vast population of nearly 4,000,000, it has 1-10,000 habitual gindrinkers, 100,000 abandomed wotnen ; 10,000 professional gamblers, 50,000 criminals know to police as thieves and receivers of stolen goods, 500,000 habitual frequenters of public-houses, and 60,000 street Arabs. To keep this vast multitude of disorderly characters in something like obedience to the law', 6,000 policemen are neccessary. Of the population of the city, only about 500,000 attend public worship, there being a million of adult absentees from church every Sunday.

The eicelic*mafcisation. of ihe brown trout appears to have been very suc-f cessful in Southland. One day last week Mr Howard, the local society's curator, caught a male trout ; aged 12 years 10 months, in the breeding ponds at Makerewa. In the home country it would be considered above the average, being eighteen inches long, and ten in girth, and weighing 21bs 7ozs.

A contemporary says : — There are people who think their newspaper should be the reflex of their own sentiments, and make no allowances for the endless varieties of tastes and views. To please all readers would be impossible, aud he is a fool that tries it ; but there are those who expect such exclusive satisfaction in return for the light of their countenance. To those that tbus " patronise " their newspaper wo commend the follo.wing verse address to subscribers from a spirited but indignant journalist :' — " We don't belong to our patrons, Oiii* pa *er is wholly, our own, Whoever may like.it can take it, Who don't, can leave it alone."

Hollowat/s Ointment and Pills — Sore Throats, Diptheria, and Bronchitis. — These medicaments boldly face the evils they profess to remedy. Local . relief and general purification progress tcgether; disease is cured, while the whole system is being cleansed. Holloway's Ointment rubbed on the throat and chest exercises the most beneficial influence over sore chroats, diptheria, and cough, whether resulting from catarrh, asthma, or bronchitis. This Ungnent acts miraculously iv arresting the extensions of sores, healing ulceration, curingskin diseases, anrl completely stopping ail destructive inflammation, irrespective of its exciting cause, character, situation, duration, or severity. Holloway's Ointment, added by his Pills, gives most immediate and most marked relief fco those irritating itchings and painful swellings of the shins occasioned by mercury or latent syphilitic virus.