THE PEERYBINGLE PAPERS.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 183, 10 August 1871, Page 7

THE PEERYBINGLE PAPERS.

(From the Melbourne " Weekly Times") These nice Christians we've heard of lately do seem to be rather comical in their ways of thinking, like tho young person mentioned in the following paragraph : — " Ann Harris, a girl-of twelve, recently quitted the family with which she was living in a small town of Tennessee, because its members did not have morning and evening prayers. Such was her rigjhteoua indignation that she carried off in her carpet-sack a number of silver spoons and articles of jewellery and personal apparel that did not belong to her."

The last fashionable news is that the plan followed by young women of wearing a bloated French roil, made of oakum, at the back of the head, has gone out in London, and Paris. They shave their, heads now, and paint 'em according to the seas m, pea-green in spring; red in summer; yellow in autumn ; and whitewash in winter. It's very rural, and airy.

Who wouldn't feel for the writer of this advertisement? "Wanted, immediately, a friend from home, with valuables. Affectionate welcome will be given. Ajax, 4 " Argus " office." Touching, isn't it ? Wanted, a friend from home with valuables ! Affectionate welcome! What would happen to the friend if he turned up without any valuables ? I remember many years ago, a man I knew had made a little more money than he wanted for himself, and so weut home to England to spend the remainder of his days among his poor relations. He'd lived at Geelong all his life, and wasn't what you might call a lively chap ; but still there were the makings of a joke in him : and so when he reached home by the celebrated Al clipper ship " Lincolnshire," he roused ( out the shabbiest clothes he could lays hands on, and looking as miserable as a bandicoot, made for his married brother's house, in the cool of the evening. ! The family were having tea, when the strange and seedy man walked in, saying to the gent of the house, " Don't you know me, Jem ? I'm your little brother Bob, that used to be ; and I've come home as poor as Lazarus. I'd rather starve among my owii flesh and blood than out there in Australia." When he said this, the artful rogue twigged bis brother's wife kicking him under the table ; and presently she gets up, lays hold of the kids, and goes away without saying never so much as a word. When she , was gone, Jem says to Bob ; " Well, you see, Bob, we're uncommon glad to see you, and all that 'sort of thing, but really a man with a family has no right to' help his relations, you know. However, come in some evening, and have a cup of tea." Thereupon Bob went out, and his affectionate brother Jem didn't see him any more.' He looked up an old friend in a poor way, and spun the same yarn to him and to his wife. When he'd told his tale, the old friend turns to his wife, and says, " Sally, my dear, just send round the corner to the beef and ham shop for a pound of the best, cut thin. Get a new loaf too, and let's have a quart of" porter. Likewise make up a bed in the little parlour for Bob, and. make him comfortable : — Bob, old man, it does a fellow good to see you. . Give us your hand. We're poor, and rather hungry here sometimes; but if you like to share our hunger, why damme, Bob, you're welcdme, aud that's plain." Next week Bob set 'that man up in business ; and his brother Jem never left off grieving that he hadn't spotted " THE VALUABLES." John Peerybingle.