FACETIÆ.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 169, 4 May 1871, Page 7

FACETIÆ.

When is an original idea like a clock ? When it strikes one. An out-of-town debating society is exercising itself about " which is the butt end of a goat." It is a strange but well-known fact that the horse eat 3 beat when it hasn't a "bit" in his mouth." It is said there are no eggs in San Domingo, because they banished the whites aud cast off their yoke. A Vermont man sat down on a keg of powder to take a "noon" smoke. They found one button. A Chicago girl advertiser for a husband with but one leg, because she is in the same predicament. A Yankee has got up an almanac " good for 300 years," and wants people to buy it and see if it isn't. A drunken farmer in Clermont county, Ohio, recently chopped down 300 apple trees to " spite Betsy," Isn't it a strange thing that one of the most pathetic writers in the English Janguage was always Sterne 1 A young lady has brought a Kbel suit Bgainßt her mother, as the only means left to get a mother-in4aw f At San Francisco a Chinaman recently gave his daughter a name, which translated means, " Yon-ought-to-have-been-a-boy." Fashionable young lady (detaching her hair previous to retiring) : " What dreams may come wjien we have suffled off this mortal Goil ! " A petition was lately presented to the, Detroit city authorities, the closing sentence of which was :—": — " And your peti-" tioners will ever pray — if praying will do any good." m The children of a gentleman living in *Nelson county, Ky.-, bear the following Christian "names : — " London Judge, Hebrew Fashion, Greek Wisdom, Reputable " 3£ingdom ? aad China Figure." j