ADVICE TO PARENTS

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 166, 13 April 1871, Page 3

ADVICE TO PARENTS

(By Mark Twain.)

Having reflected deeply, for half an hour upon the subject of domestic, discipline, I feel like sparring a few suggestions relative to the best method of bringing up children. Being a bachelor without children, my suggestions are as likely to be disinterested as if I had never seen a child.

According to my observation the most difficult time to bring up children is in the morning. You can sometimes, though seldom, bring them up in the morning by yelling at them ; but the effectiveness of this process diminishes with its repetition, even when not entirely neutralized by the children's trick of stopping their ears with the bed clothes. The only prompt effective and absolutely reliable method is to bring them up by the hair. If your child has a good, healthy scalp, without any tendency to premature baldness, this method will work with most gratifying efficiency. Try it about once a week, and you will be surprised to observe how its influence will extend through the six days' interval, inspiring your child with the liveliest po&sible interest in the resplendent pageautry of sunrise. To bring up a darling child by the hair requires the exercise of some energy and firmness ; but no affectionate parent will hesitate at any little sacrifice of this kind for the welfare of his offspring. Nothing can be more fatal to your disipline than to allow your children to contradict you. If you happen to be betrayed into any misstatement or exaggeration in their presence, don't permit them to correct you. Eight or wrong, you must obstinately insist on your infallibility, and promptly suppress every symptom of puerile scepticism, with force if need be. The moment you permit them to doubt your unerring wisdom, you will begin to forfeit their respect and pander to their conceit. There can be no sadder spectacle than a parent surrounded by olive branches who think they know more than he does. I vividly remember how my father — who was one cf the most rigid and successful of disciplinarions — quelled the aspiring egotism that prompted me to correct his careless remarks (when he was reckoning a problem in shillings), that five times twelve was sixty-two and a half. - ' So," said he, climbing over his spectacles, and surveying me gi'imly, "ye think ye know more'n your father, hey ? Come 'ere to me !" His invitation was too pressing to be declined, and for a few excruciating moments I reposed in bitter humiliation across his left knee, with my neck in the embrace of his left arm.

I didn't see him demonstrate his mathematical accuracy, with the palm of his right hand on the Wgest patch of my trousers, but I felt that the old man was right ; and when, after completely eradicating my faith in the multiplication table, he asked me how much five times 12 was, I insisted with tears in my eyes that it was 62 and a half. "That's right!" said he; "I'll lam ye to respect yer father, if I have to thrash ye twelve times a day. JS"ow go'n water them hosses, 'n be lively too !" Tho old gentleman didn't permit my respect for him to wane much until the inflammatory rheumatism disabled him ; and even then he continued to inspire me with awe until I was thoroughly convinced that his disability was permanent.

Unquestioning obedience is the crowning grace of childhood. When you tJI your child to do anything, and he stops to inquire why, it is advisable to kindly but firmly fetch him a rap across tho ear, and inform Lim '' that's why !" He will soon get in the way of starting with charmiug alacrity, at the word of command.

One of the most inveterate and annoying traits of children is inquisitiveness, if you are inconsiderate enough to attempt to gratify their omnivorous curiosity, you may as well prepare to abdicate, for you will be nonplussed by their questions a dozen times a day, and in a week your sagacity will be hopelessly compromised. An average child is a magazine of unanswerable and disconcerting conundrums. You can't expect children to have much deference for a parent whose ignorance they can expose twice out of three times trying. It is well enough to answer an easy question now and then, just to convince them that you can when you choose ; but when they come you with a po&er, toll them, " Oh, you never mind?" or "shut up !" and then they will grow up independent and selfreliant" and restrained, only by veneration, from splitting your head open — to find out how it holds so much information without letting some out. It would be difficult — very difficult — to estimate the beneficial effect that wouM be entailed upon their children if parents generally* would adopt the method here vaguely indicated.