LADIES' COLUMN.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 166, 13 April 1871, Page 7

LADIES' COLUMN.

ON MISTAKEN IN MAUIUAGE

It was Stecle who remarked that '•the happy marriage is where two persons met and voluntarily make choice of each other, without principally regarding or neglecting the circumstances of fortune or beauty;" but whilst reciprocated affection is indispensable to happiness in married life, suitability of disposition and similarity of tastes are also essential to perfect happiness, and must not bo overlooked by those who would enjoy that sweet companionship which is denied to none, although perhaps realised by but few.

II l-assorted marriages are unquestionabty the great curse of social life, the more so that the actors themselves spend their married state in silent solf-accusings, or outspoken crimina : tions. Deception before marriage is certain to be followed by remorse and humiliation after, and is likely to entail a burden of sorrow on the contractors in that which should be the most solemn and most sacred of earthly covenants. Men sometimes marry for money, and find, too late, that the wife's fortune cannot pay for her caprices, her extravagances, or her folly. The woman who does not marry for wonanly love most frequently mariref. for wordly position ; and this she gains possibly at the price of self-respect and lofty purpose. Some there are who in the height of youth many for what they consider love, and wake too late to the truth of that unkind and time-honoured advice — " Marry in haste and repent at leisure." Random marriages have been the cause of endless bickerings and strifes; and such instances have been thus versified by Sir John Daves :—: — " Wedlock, indeed, hath all compared been To public feasts, where meet a public rout ; ■\Vheie they that arc without would fain go in. And they that are within would fain go out.'' When men make mistakes in marriage they are most frequently themselves to blame ; women, on the other hand, if young, too easily trust in the faith of their professed lovers. They fancy their mind is fully made ujj before they have got such a commodity as a mind to make up; and ding to a faith in professions which but too frequently turn to falsehoods. Knowing such to be t'\e case, Cow per offered the following advice to girls : — " Misses ! the tale that I relate This lesson seems to carry, — Choose not alone a proper mate, But proper time to marry."

A well-assorted marriage is the happiest contract that can be entered into on earth, as an ill-assorted one is the most miserable. Cynics there are amongst both sexes who hold that maariage altogether is a mistake ; and there are even a few who although themselves happily married, cannot curb their inherent ill-nature so far as to be passively courteous on the question. A certain Lprd Grrenville, wedded to a most amiable wife, was constantly inveighing against marriage; his favourite simile for a wife being that of a tin canister tied to a dog's tail ! Sheridan was pi-esent on one occasion when his lordship had the bad taste to introduce his hobby in the presence of the Countess, who could not conceal her annoyance. Sheridan perceiving this, pencilled the following lines, which he handed to his hostess, and which she afterwards treasured and used as a crushing argument against her lord :—: — " Lord Grj-enville presuming at woman to rail, Says a wife is a canister tied to one's tail ; And fair Lady Anne, as the subject be carries on, Seems hurt at his lordship's degrading comparison"": I3ufc wherefore degrading? considered aright, A canister's useful, and polished, and bright ; And if dirt ibs original purity hide, That's the fault of the puppy to whom it is tied."

Somebody writes: " A girl who looks like a fury or a sloven in the morning is not to be trusted, however finely she may look in the evening. No matter Low humble your room may be, these eight things it should contain, viz. : a mirror, a wash-stand, soap, towel, comb, hair, nail, tooth brushes. They are as essential as your breakfast, before which you should make use of them." There, young ladies, you have a sensible opinion, and some very wholesome advice. We dare venture the assertion that there are many young giria in this town who make their ap°pdarance at the breakfast table in a condition of "drowsiness that would be a positive discredit to the veriest slattern of the. kitchen, and there are many parents who not ouly tolerate, but absolutely encourage this most unpardonable untidiness. There isno possible excuse for it. Unwashed face and hands, "unkempt hair, unlaced gaiters, uumended or an uncleanly wrapper, should never be seen or about the person of a young lady or an old one either. Common decency, not to speak of respect for parents, or self, forbid* them. We would as soon. encounter a young lady with a limited cigar, or a chew of tobacco in her mouth, says an exchange, as one of these slovenly creatures. Let such, if, there be any among our readers, ask themselwe3 whether they would willingly be seen in such unseemly* att ro by the younj gentlemen vr'ioin they meet in the parlour. If r'loy would not, then there is no apology for this vyofse thaa uiir Kdirwiss. :