FOURTEEN MILE BEACH.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 166, 13 April 1871, Page 5

FOURTEEN MILE BEACH.

(From our Own Correspondent.) April 4th. 1871.

I am behind time again, but this is owing to my having missed the mail, which must be excused. Now for the report. Messrs Heron and party have their first instalment of water in, which will make the supply sufficient, with economy, for the winter. The water from the Gorge Creek has been taken up by Messrs. M'Kenzie Forrest and Co. of Alexandra.

The elections are over at last, and the hatchet is buried for another four years, we have smoked the calumet of peace, and intend to be wiser for the future. Our beaten candidates have retired into private life, disgusted at the fickleness of mankind, and one in particular has eschewed politics and taken to cleanliness and paper collars, vowing he will not again attempt the hopeless, thankless task of legislating for, and civilizing the "Great Unwashed."

It is singular that we should still harp (notwithstanding our protestations to the contrary) -on our defeat. Is it because we had lost all faith in the powers that be ? Or is it because our sympathies — like our trade, is not reciprocated in Dunedin. ? Why can we not carry out the meaning of our two local laundresse.3 Mrs. M'Mantilini and Mrs. Suds, " You lend me your flatiron, and I will give you a squeeze of my bluebag 1" The whole affair lies in a nutshell. We should be able to get along much more comfortably, and profitably, by loaning our flatiron to Dunedin for trade purposes ; whilst we might get our rivers bridged, and land for settlement,

by squeezing the Dunedinites' bluebag occasionally. If the idea could only be carried out, the old law of union i.s strength would prevail, and we should frequently be saved the mortification of knowing we had made ourselves ridiculous.

There is great interest taken in the Government water scheme by all parties interested in sluicing up here, suggested I presume by the £300,000 wo are not going to get. Is the conduct of this mattter to be be given to some incompetent second fiiddler of he great man who rules over US and our destinies ? Or is the scheme abouttobe initiated to be allowed to vanish like so many airy bubbles formerly prominently brought forward as sop* for the mining < erborus ? Is the fund for the enterprise to be maladministered as a sacrifice to some party in power who may imagine himself an insnired hydraulic Brunei ? Is the money for the affair to be apportioned in large sums for preliminary expenses, and homoapathic quantities for the fully (1) and correct (?) carrying out of the arrangements ? Or are we to see the whole affair carried out in its integrity ? Who can answer 1 We have been so throughly humbugged in all matters pertaining to the Goldfields, that one naturally looks forward to bfing humbugged again. Our new members must look to this or they may make the situation very unpleasant for themselves.

Influenza is just now vory prevalent in the district, and like other mortals Aye have been suffering from tho scourge, with our old Pumpernickel keeping us in countenance. The old gentleman whom you are aware has fulfilcd his teetotal pledge as to time, has again glided into his former habits ; as he observes he has not the slightest ambition of being the first victim to be recorded in the modern Fox's Book of Martyrs. lie heard that Cherry Pectoral was a sovereign cure for the cold he caught, but in mistake he swallowed a bottle of vigor, and strange to record, the cure was immediate and perfect ; the only drawback to the exclusive use of the above prescription being that our friend ever since has had a large hairy tussock nn the end of his nose, and a feeling in his throat of having a brush manufactory in his stomach, fie wishes old Ayors was in the hands of the ISlac'c Prince, (no not him), bub the Prince of Darkness. The fun of the whole affair is that it. was not influenza he was suffering from, but simply an tiiiensy cough engendered by his allo". inir the contents of his tenth tnmMer to glide down his thi'oat by the wr^ng passage. This only shows the unnecessary risks people will run, through attempting to alter their regular habits. By-the-bye we missed your Vagabond's letter in kst week's issue, which was a loss to our community, as everyone here admires the bonhomoie and hunt ton displayed by your lively correspondent; we hope there has not been cold water thrown upon his witty effusions.

T intended to have wound up with a classical quotation, but as my L-ttin is obscure, and I invariably mis-quote what is not obscure, I must leave my classics in the bog from whence they emanated.