PICKINGS FROM PEERYBINGLE.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 165, 6 April 1871, Page 7

PICKINGS FROM PEERYBINGLE.

(From the Melbourne "Weekly Times."

John Chinaman manages somehow to make money, and insolvent Chinese are so scarce that if you caught one you'd take him to the bird-stuffer's rijjht off, and have him set up in a glass case. Every now and then flocks of Johns go home to China with fortunes ; and you'll please to understand that what they call fortunes are about as much a- piece as a few irallivantinj; white men wnuld spend at the play, or \n drink in twelve months. It all depends on the way you look at things, don't you know ! and what your wants are. Many of these Chinunen kill a. cabbasre on Saturday nights, and live on it all the next week, working hard into the bargain, so that though you can't exactly say they make money, they, at any rate, aye it, and that's the next best thiivjj to do. And talking of Chinamen, Cham; isn't a bad thin:* in that line — ever so much better worth lookin t at than that horrible, jjreasylookin'jr. stuffed monkey of a dwarf we were running after the other day. Chan'*i.9 a hill man. I forget whether he's pight or eighteen feet hiy;h ; but he could stow Earl Russel, or Mr. Bnrtf, or any other small man away in a hollow tooth. As a Yankee tninht observe: "tho critter's fjrowed so tall, he don't know when hid toes is cold."

Did yon ever keep a barometer, and if so, could you make head or tail of it ? A man gammoned me into huviivj one about a vcar a<ro ; and it's bpon the trouble of mv life ever since. If it isn't going to rain, that lying barometer says it is ; if it i<n'fc gointj to change, my barometer marks " change " as sure a? a s:un; and if it's goin<r to be wf>t, the impostor makes out that " very dry "is the ticket. Some time ago, T took it to fi doctor in the barometer lino to know if the blfssn.d thing' « bowels were out of order; but he swore t was as liea'fv as it could be, and only wanted to be let alone. So, I let it alone, and it goes on lyiiv? worse than ever. Whatever you do, if you'd lead a quiet life, don't make yourself miserable by buying a barometer. Trust to your corns, or if yon haven't sot am\ grow one or two, and you wont ask for a weather-glass outside your boots.

A " numerous and influential deputation " wni'e I upon me yesterday to know if I'd stand for South Yarra. There werp. two of 'em ; an individual with a spiritual breath, and another with a black pvo. Tlu i y accounted for both by tolling m? they'd been electioneering at the publichou^e up the street, for 43 hours at a solid stretch. Afler feeling my political pulse, so to speak, they enquired if I'd got any beer on tap, aud went in to mix the Education question, and other qupstinns with my liquor. It ended in my " decling to stand," and in their doinr preci-selv likewise. Next day, T found they'd stolen all my loose change, and chalked the words, "Why do we weep for thee." on mv cart.

New insolvent: Ann Barker, mining speculator. Causes of insolvency, deP'viarion in the value of mining shares, unsuccessful miniivjr speculations, and illness. Liabilities, £238 Us. lid. ; assets, £99 19s. 0 1. I'm sorry for Ann's illness, but not for the mining speculations. These are pursuits no more adapted for the fair sect than dressing in men's clothes, or riding astride on horseback, or turning head over heels on the stage, or playing lenn-frog. In one way, however, Ann's lucky. She comes out of the game with £99 19s. od., and that's more than most can say. Let her creditors do the handsome thin-jf by her, and irive !:er the assets to start in another line of business without any mining speculation in it.