FACETIÆ.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 164, 30 March 1871, Page 7

FACETIÆ.

Since the commencement of the war a number of French refugees have taken residence in London, and the police have been studying the true Parisian accent, in order to enable them to answer their numerous foreign queries, A metropolitan journal states during the lasb week in January that in answer to the enquiry of a broad Scot — " Eh mon can ye no tell me waur my brither Sandy M'Twolter's wee biggin is, and I'll gie ye a braw bawbee ? " A polite but puzzled peeler replied -" Wee, mushoo, voo along par le roo de Regong et tnrney a Leicesoer Square et demanday ongcore," A traveller who had crossed the Atlantic tells a story of a storm, when the rain ponred down in such torrents that the ocean rose ten inches. " There is no mistake," said he' ; " besides the captain kept a mark on the side of the vessel." A rural matron had the right idea when, finding herself unable to whip her; husband, she shouted to her son, who was upstairs in bed, " Bill, come down stairs and lick thi feyther, or else he'll be th' maister o' th' whole house ? " Three robust Jews applying to hire a gig for a distant journey in one day, were remonstrated with by the owner of the

horse for contemplating such an infliction

_ upon one poor animal, xipon which one of jfe£hem replied, " Vy, ve'v all got yips." fr .The side that a good many people in Paris would like to take at present — The outside. Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge ?— Because it has to b& ground before it is used.