NOTES BY THE WAT.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 163, 23 March 1871, Page 5

NOTES BY THE WAT.

(By our Vagabond Reporter.)

Pursued by the demon of elections, T no sooner landed from the coach at Naseby than I found I had made a lucky hit again, and arrived just in time. On every side walls plastered with bills — not placards, certainly, these instruments of torture being beyond the means of the local printing office, but small notices freely scattered, in what one might call copybook type. Fortunately no notice of Smiler. At last, said Ito myself, lam free from the recapitulation of his virtues, and fortune can have no worse in store than the two elections I had just survived. Faithful to my mission, I at once proceeded to make myself, so far as was possible, master of the position, and commenced with interrogations of my host — a man of appeai'ance and manners which led one back to the Georgian era. He had an expansive mind, and introduced me to a new drink of his own invention — "rue gin ;" and in the course of consumption of some ten drafts of this invigorating tonic— which, by the way, I can confidently recommend to your imbibing when in search of "pastures new" in the way of liquour — I sounded the depths of the miud political of Naseby, and can guarantee the information received as " in vino veritas." — (That's a puzzler for a country editor ; but "present company," &c.) The nomination was to-morrow, my Georgian-era friend, and the gifted inhabitants of the township had arranged to secure the seat fur one Macassey, a successful lawyer in Dnnedin, whose ambition had already led him to stand for two constituencies, both of which, with rural obstinacy, had declined to recognise his enormous abilities. Jt w,is thought that common gratitude would induce him, if successful in the run for the consolation stokes, to make swans of their local geese, and to cause Mount Ida to be vicariously famous through the eloquence and political triumph of the possible AttorneyGeneral. Unfortunately there were obstinate local mon in the way, who wanted to stand themselves, and who didn't see it in the same light ; and there was also a possibility that the miners might take into their heads to \\>te, and might not choose to vote as the storekeepers told them. I listened, and sympathised deeply. Here, thought I, is a noble old man, ( nly anxious for his country's good ; he thrown aside the instinct of h.ibit — the h rational prejudice in favour of local men, and he joins with other patriots in endeavouring to obtain the "fortunate youth" as a representative — the most distinguished social and moral critic of the ago ! the very Junius of the colony ! who, on a nicinor ible (to him) occasion in the Masonic Hali, piped, in his Supremo Court lisp, feeble philippics against the unhappy members of a moribund Parliament ; denounced the magistracy ; but wisely spared the bench, although a moral might have been pointed and a tale adorned even in that exalted quarter, f expressed my feelings. He warmly shook my hand. More "rue gin;" more confidences accordingly. "Other candidates ? " Yes, there was Pratt, of Waikouaiti, editor of local journal and mayor of that important town. " That will do," said T. " There is, I have observed, a halo of idiocy which seems to hover over and around municipal institutions, and which wraps in its fatal miasm every intellect which yields to the seductive influence of corporational honours " (a new word, but wholesome. " Did you ever know," I continued, " a mayor who did not sooner cr later develope into an — "N" N here he interrupted me. "Let that pass," said he ; "' we know better here, and have no such rubbish ; only, wouldn't Inder like to be ' His Worship,' oh dear, no ! " Maters purely loc.il are not inte- j resting to stran rers, so I did not encourage him to continue in this vein. " Any other candidates?" "They do talk of Mervyn, a Teviot bullock slodger ; but he won't do at any price. Nobody knows him, and (here he winked) he won't spend no money." " Then," said I, " I suppose it's all right 1 " (here / winked in the direction of Dunedin). "Mum's the word; he's a coming on Monday." "The man with the bag?" "Right; it's all splendidly arranged, and Inder, Shannon, and I have engaged to canvas the out districts, and we'll see him through it, believe me." 1 grasped his hand in a final farewell for the night, saying, " His return, my old boy, I only wish you may get it." He went to bed a true, but deluded man, his latest words being, "l's have to sh'get sh'up sh'at sh'six !" T am not going to describe all the incidents hour by hour of my stay in Mount Ida with the precision of a medical diagnosis. (If you are too stupid to understand this allusion, you had better see Stewart, unless you are afraid of that unpaid subscription to the institution — ha, ha ! I have you there.) It is nothing either to you or anybody else what time L got up the next day, or why I was late at the nomination — sufficient, I was in time to hear Prait — Prart, the oracle of Waikouaiti; the judicious critic of Government policies ; the writer of leaders and concoctqr of thrilling locals ; and this is something like what he said. Premise, first, the situation. Elegant hustings erected aside the courthouse ; Pyke, with a terrible frown, in the chair, as Returning Officer ; dirty and slightly lbeery crowd, standing, sitting, and loafing around. " Gentlemen, —(glancing uneasily at grinning crowd) — I mean brother miners ! — (From the crowd : 'He ain'b a miner ; he's a tinker.') — (Laughter.) I appear — appear before you — (A Voice : ' Whip behind ! ') — as a — as a — (here he coughed)— a candidate — (with a gulp) — for your suffrages. — ('Gat it short, old hoss!') — Although I don't actually live among yer — ('Thank God!) — I have always been with you and supported your interests in the press — (' " Waikouaiti

Herald," yah ! '). The press is a glorious engine — (here he digressed for one solemn iialf hour, having evidently learnt this part of his speech by heart). You don't want a gentleman to represent you —(laughter)— you don't want a gentleman to represent you — (' Not if we elects you, eld cock ! ') — you don't want a gentleman to represent you who is nob identified with your district. — (It is a pity he didn't manage to finish the sentence before). My views upon all subjects are well known to you, having addressed you so lately. lam in favour of free selection, without purchase at all ; the abolition of miners' rights, gold duty, and everything else. I shall support a poll tax upon squatters — (cheers) — and the unsullied rjghts of a free people. — (Cueers) Britannia nil- s the waves ! " (More cheers, principally ironical, amidst which the speaker was pulled down by the application of ardent supporters to his coat tails. 1 heard murmurs of "sanguinary jackass" from a knot of squatters and officials ; but the happy Pratt retreated in blissful dream of being the popular candidate, and in a few days to exult exalted at the head of the poll).