NOTES BY THE WAT.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 160, 2 March 1871, Page 5

NOTES BY THE WAT.

(By our Vagabond Reporter.)

The coach delivered me safely and eventually at Clyde — a straggling village of one street power, but considered by its inhabitants as the capital of the- upper goldtields, and a very great place indeed, its appearance is not imposing ; and it is oderiferous, from a distance of two miles on either side, of carbonaceous lignite. What's "carbonaceous"? Whatever it means, it sounds well, and fills up a line. — No, I'm not going to continue in the " handbook style," to which you so impertinently allude in your very offensive and unpaid telegram of yesterday. — The horses, whipped to a final effort, amidst the admiring gaze of the taproom-door loafers, dashed up to the old Bendigo, and drawing up with a jerk, wliich nearly sent my American friend's pipe down his throat, the driver intimated "here wo are." Is this, then, thought I, the loudvauuted far-famed town of Clyde, the pattern municipality, the pet of provincial statesmen ? am T at last to enjoy the privilege of mixing with its gifted inhabitants—to shake the great Donald's hand ? So I mused: rude awakening, "May I trouble you for your fare ? " Now, it is an unfortunate fact — knowing me you will believe it — that I had actually forgotten that coach travelling implied a commercial transaction, and my financial position having been seriously affected by the climate of the Lake country, 1 was not in a position to accede to my friend's request, although couched, I must say, in most polite language. The whole situation flashed across me in an instant. I

should be branded as an impostor, locked up and brought next morning before Vincent the Terrible, in whose town garden my goat was once detected lunching on choice plants, as is the manner of his kind. My fate would be sealed. II ah ! a bright, if not an original, idea. (( My friond," said I, "I have unfortunately left my purse upon the rnantlepiece at Garo way's." " Mantlepiece in " (residence of H.5.M.,) said he his manner changing and becoming actually offensive. A crowd began to gather in the bar. The landlord laid down his fiddle. "No bad language," said 1, "my good man." He laughed. " There is no harm done," continued I, in my blandest accents; "if yon object to having brought me here for nothing, take me back again ; things will then be

as they were — this is the only business suggestion I have to offer." He swore audibly. Landlord, struck by my distingue (French !) appearance, interfered, " Shnre the jintleunui will get his purse or draw upon town. Be aisy now, and let's liquor up." Says I, " The hospitality of the foreigner is deeply grateful. 1 drinks to you and to your persecuted country." lie shook me warmly by the hand — a tear glistened iv his eye. Poor exile, thought I ; he is thinking of beleaguered Paris, where, perhaps, his little ones or aged progenitors maybe protracting existence upon minute rations of feline tribe. ' ' Hurrah for ould Ireland ! " said he. "Your ancient ally," said I. "Tear and ages !" said he, "do you take me for a (sanguineous adjective) Frenchman?" I apologised. "Your accent misled me. 1 hail with delight a true son of Erin — a descendant of Go Bragh." He was calm, and I took the opportunity of surveying the premises. Large placards again ! Am Ito be pursued through the country with the virtues of Shepherd, M. P.< :., in large caps? He may be the "miner's friend" and the provider of "homes for the people;" but why should this be obtruded upon me wherever Igo ? " " just in time for the election," says a pimply-faced man, in a dirty garibaldi, observing my glance at the posters. "My friend," saj's I, "you do not seriously mean that I am again let iv for a gathering of the free and independent at the polling booths — having <^scaued with a whole skin from the Lakes. 1 Tell me," I added in pathetic tones, grasping his grimy hand, " tell me I am mistaken ; that this is a pleasant jest ; that these placards are mere records of political rectitude — not attempts at electoral seduction." " You must be a soft," the pimply-faced one, not very complimentary, responded, "not to know that the Dnnstan election is on to-morrow, and that the Shepherd is trying it on here, and has a good show." "Travelling messagerie ? " said I. " What the do you mean," says he, angrily ; " don't you understand English ? " 1 subsided ; he looked too pugilistic for argument, and I had heard of Clyde amenities. I tried the effect of liquor ; under its softening influence he confided to me his opinion of men and things, especially things political, which it is my especial mission from you to investigate. Now, keep your temper, and don't break out about " loafing in low taprooms, and picking up yarns from any blackguard who tries to stuff you " Oh yes, very likely. I suppose you think I should go to the mayor, or the R.M., or the local clergy, and s<iy, " Here 1 am ; I want to know all about the place, socially, politically, pastronomio.illy, mineralngically, &c." So you want your valued correspondent cow-hided, or ridden on a rail, or tarred and feathered 1 say what is your wicked will. Jf you don't like my sources of information, come yourself, and try the respectable dodge. Ha, ha ! I only wish you would. — But to re-sume. Pimply-faced one, loquitur, " Queer place this. Been here before ? No ) I've a been here going on seven years, and knows all their little games. You see there's Donald and .Co, they always goes together ; lor ! they're up to a thing or two, I can tell you. This time they're in for Fraser. Who's he ? Why the squatter t'other sidn of the river — the nephew of his uncle, they call him — a mild sort of coon, c cold-veal-without-salt ' style about him. Spends his money here, though, and patronises the punt. They say Donald is to be made a J.P. if he gets in. Other candidates? Yes. Old Hoos — Honest Jack, they call him. He's no show. Come from Tuapeka, where they'd burn him in effigy, oniy he ain't worth the material. Then there's Mervyn, a cockatoo from the. Teviot. They calls him 'tightskin,' cos he seems to have come in la(e and got served out with one a size too small for him. He's a politician, he is, with a hook. What's a 'cockatoo? 7 Where was you reared? A cockatoo's a small farmer — ' agriculturist' is the skientific name. They abound about goldlields, takes up two or three acres of land, and wants to run herds of horses and cattle over the rest of the province. What chance has he? — little or none ; he ain't smart and he ain't popular. Shepherd he got beat at the Lakes. You know it and don't want the story over again ? All right. Well, he's got a good chance here. J. C. , they say, has cooked the Teviot all right for him. Wao's J. C. ? Well, I never ! Don't know J. C, the Otago 'man in the moon.' II a, ha ! You're having a little game with me, ha ! ha ! Fraser would have polled in a lot of votes, but an infernal donkey of a squatter went and pounded all the town horses the morning of the nomination. Such a lark ! Shepherd works the ind ; gaant dodge well, and the miners are fools enough to believo in Mm. He'll run Fraser hard. Drybread again, lots of votes. Squatter's manager been warning miners to move huts and gardens. Serve 'em right if they lose their man " Such and in such way did the pimply one discourse, becoming gradually thick in utterance, unperspicuous in style, and incoheient in matter. I left him with his third whisky, and retreated to the parlor. Sallow-faced man in spectacles, reading paper ; tall good-looking man in breeches and boot?, leu aging in arm chair ; shortish light-haired man smoking pipe.