MISCELLANEOUS.

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 150, 22 December 1870, Page 7

MISCELLANEOUS.

Freaks of the Telegraph. — The clerks in the telegraph offices in Limerick, and for several miles round, were sadly perplexed on June 4 by the extraordinary froaks of (as they first supposed) the electric fluid, which having long ago outdone Ariel's feat of putting a girdle round the earth in forty minutes, seemed to have taken Puck as exemplar in mischief. Sometimes the messages could not be transmitted at all ; at another they were received at all stations at once, but always so hopelessly entangled as to defy every attempt at interpretation. The astonishment of the recipients mxy be imagined, and complaints poured fast and furious into the offices, where the cause of the phenomena was for a considerable time a mystery. At length it was discovered that in a secluded part of the suburbs, where the wires are easily accessible, some children had slung a rope from them, and used them as a support for a swing. The wires being closely entangled by the pressure, a message transmitted through one was, of course, communicated to all the others. The damage was immediately repaired, and the telegraph recalled from play to work. The " Bendigo Advertiser" relates:

" Ono incident nofc set down in tlie programme occurred at Midame Siblv's electric-biologic seance at Huntly, lately, which is worth recording. The subject in hand w.is mesmerism, and the fair lecturer was about to illustrate her remarks as to the insensibility to pain on the pxrt of one of the youths then mesmerised, by thrusting a long pin into his arto, when an independent elector, who had evidently nob yet recovered from tha excitement consequent on the shire council election which had taken place thit day, entertaining doubts as to the hona /lies of the experiment, determined to test the truth of the statement made by the lecturer in a manner more conclusive than that proposed. Advancing to the stage, in order, as it was supposed, to have a betoer view, he took advantage of the opportunity to seize with his teebh the hand of the unfortunate subject of the proposed operation, and bit him most savagely. Madams Sibly immediately stepped off the stago into the body of the hall, and advancing to the sceptical elector hit out direct from the shoulder, both right and left, iv a style worthy of a Sayers or a Heenan, ' painting ' both the optics of the offender in the most scientific manner. Order "was restored after this exhibition of lnuscu-

lar Christianity, but only temporarily 1 , for on the delinquent again appearing iv front of the sU^e the other subjects under the inflir'n'v, numbering six or seven, in obedience to a waive of the hand from Mud;'.mj Sibly, rushed at their prey like a pa-;k of hounds, and went straight forward regardless of all obstacles ; and the upsetting of seats, the screaming of females, and the crying of children, created a scene of confusion such as is not often witnessed."

A Wellington paper states that bis Excellency the Grovernor costs the colony nearly £10,000 a year. The items are as follows :—: — £ Salary .... 4500 Governor's Establishment 1600 Travelling "Rtp^n«es - COO Interest on £32,000 beinir the estimated cost of Government House, at 8 per cent. - - 2560 Total - - £9260

La.dl 7 a>-. — A, profitable colony ia worth a word of notice, The Island of Labuan, about fifty miles square in extent, contains coal in such abundance that there are -100,000,000 tons available of good quality. Native miners, instructed by Europeans, are now actively employed in getting coal, which is supplied to the ships in the royal navy, lo tho mail steamers, and is exported to Singapore. Hong Kong, and the French. Dutch, and Spauis'.i settlements. Vv r e !>ear that Thompson's road-steamer, with the broad iudiarubbor tires, is to be used for hauling t'^e conl from the mines to the shippiujj wharf. Under these circumstances Labuan may be expected to show an increasing revenue for many years to come. — "' Athenaeum."

The Royal Letters Hoax. — Tvlany readers will remember the cleverly writton letters which appeared in the " Madras Mail," one purporting to be from the Duke of Edinburgh to his elder brother, containing narratives of, and comments on his journeying in India, ami one from the Prince of Wales in reply. Tho simulated authorship was so well supported, that in Englard it was thought neceessary that the lettei s •should be publicly disivowed by the Prince of Wales ou behalf of himself and his brother. Th^ " Madras Mail," in a recent nuinbei*, thus laughs at the result of its ingenious hoax : — " A member of the Indian Council writing to a friend of ours by the nviil just received from Europe, states that Her Majesty the Queen could with the greatest difficulty be persuaded that the letters from Alfred to Albert Edward and from Albert Edward to Alfred were not genuine and authentic." We beg to assur.3 the Royal mother of the illustrious personages whose style we would appear to have imitated with such success as even to have deceived herself, that their Royal Highnesses had no hand in the very mild productions which we took the liberty to identify with their names. We cannot profess to be on more than levse bowing terms with the Princes ; but it did not call for the exercise of much ingenuity to simulate a mode of expression of which the Prince of Wales's letters to Lady Mordaunt furnished so admirable a model. Her Majesty, we regret to hear does not at all enter into the spirit of the very mild joke of which wo must admit ourselves guilty. In Marlbrough house, however, the juex ild esprit are regarded very good humored ly. We shall not fail to send to the Queen and Princes a copy of the little book we are preparing, which will contain the letters , and the comments tney have evoked."

A Mra. H mnali Jones piously raised a tablet to tho memory of the departed Jones, who had been a hosier, the inscription of which, after recording his many virtues, wound np with the following couplet : — " Ho left his hose, his Hannah, and his love, To gn and slug Hos.inuali iv the realms above."

When the fiffceanbk Pennsylvania O.ivahy entered the town of Dawson, Georgia, in the spring of 1865, among those who welcomed tliem wa3 a negro woman, whose appearance denoted extreme old age. Impelled by curiosity, one of the " boys " rode up to her, and asked " How old are yon, anntie?" "Well child," she replied, " I doni 'zackly knowhow old I is : but I was here when C'lumbus come."

The " Montana Democrat " tells of one of their ministers preaching from the text, " God created man inhis ownimage." Then he commenced. An honest man is the noblest work of God ;" and, pausing, looked over the audience, and said, " But I opine God Almighty has not had a job in this city for nigh unto fifteen years."

Very recently, in Melbourne, one of tlie great circle-sailing fellows, who spend eighteenpence out of every shilling, was to get mariied. He bought the bride's tvousse.iu and kickshaws ; ordered the wedding breakfast, and the beer ; and gave a l>tll at three months for the lot. Then the wedding bells, the wedding bells did rin^. iin.l the "happy pair" promeaa'lud to church. 13ut the gentleman w.isn't easy iv h;* mind. His billing was too much mixed with his cooirij to be pleasant; s) when the parson handed him the book to si'^n his name he wrote in a fine upstanding hand : " Accepted, pay. able at the English, Scottish, aud Australian Chartered Bank, Pi-ahran.— John Smith !" Th« bride was carried horns in a luwb.tcke'l cur, and. did'nt revive until she absorbed a fair amount of the liq-.iil refi^hiiiunta provided for tb.B wedding breakfast,